Embracing life as Household 6

Saying Good-bye

2010-06-01T20:40:00.003-05:00

When I met Robert, he was already a soldier. He was always very honest about who he was and what he did. I’ll never forget the day, a couple of months into our relationship, when he handed me a huge 3 ring binder and said, “This will give you a small glimpse of who I am.”

(this is the first photo of Robert I ever saw....before we met)

The binder was full….his journal from war, photos of his platoon, the war torn streets of Iraq and some of the sad realities of war that he assured me were “not the worst” of the photos that he had. It also included page after page of poetry, which was (and still is) the way that Robert processed all that he saw and was a part of in Iraq. Here it all was, this binder full of a reality that I didn’t know that I was ready to confront.
I distinctly remember sitting in my apartment and reading through that binder, with tears pouring down my cheeks. At one point, I picked up the phone and called a very wise woman, who said this to me:
“If you are going to make the choice to love him, then you are going to have to love the soldier that’s inside him too. It’s a choice & it’s yours. But if you take that step, know that you are agreeing to love the Army and all the good, bad and ugly that comes with that too.”
I took that step. I agreed to love, not only my husband, but the Army too. I did then, & through it all, I still do. The Army taught me more about myself and the way that I look at this world than I ever would have thought possible.

The Army taught me that there is a reason that we stand up for the National Anthem and salute the flag….because many good men & women gave their life so that we would have that right.

The Army taught me that this world is a very ugly place.

The Army taught me that loyalty, duty, honor & sacrifice are so much more than just words. The Army showed me how those words are lived out & gave me the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing people that do, in fact, live them all.

The Army taught me that I am much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.

The Army taught me to never take one single moment for granted, to take lots of pictures and to never miss an opportunity to make a memory.

The Army taught me how to adapt: new places, new people, new experiences…
all at the “needs of the Army”

The Army taught me that I can do anything that I set my mind to do…..
but that I’d much rather do it all with my husband by my side.

The Army taught me how to say good-bye…..
some times temporarily and sometimes until the other side of forever.

The Army taught me to write everything in pencil because life doesn't come with guarantees.

The Army taught me that change is not always a bad thing........

With the turning of a new chapter in our lives, it’s time to start anew. You are all invited to join us as we begin the next phase of our lives on our new family blog: http://www.only1mom.com/
We hope that you will all make the transition with us and follow along...

Grab This Button!

2010-05-29T13:40:00.006-05:00

"When You Go Home Tell Them Of Us And Say,
For Their Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"

We remember.

Retired

2010-05-27T21:45:00.004-05:00

With a heart full of mixed emotions, allow me to officially announce that as of today,
my husband is officially retired from the United States Army.
I am now, and forever more, a RETIRED Army wife.
Wow.
I have so much to say and quite honestly, am still processing this change.
I LOVE being an Army family.
In many ways, we still are.
We still have our ID cards, all our benefits, the joy (ha!) of dealing with Tricare....
as someone put it....
all the good without the bad
(ie: deployments, PCSing at unexpected times, etc).
Still, it is very hard to realize that the life that we've had,
the life that I have loved and embraced
has had a huge chapter closed.
It's bittersweet.

We went today and had our ID cards redone....changed over to reflect that Robert is retired(and his is now BLUE, which looks so weird). Then we went to Tricare, where I had my first opportunity to prove that Household 6 still knows all the rules and regs...even if she is "retired" ;) All of the insurance issues, category changes, etc are now squared away...lol.

Since I am a picture taking fool, you all know that I was there to document the final moments of Robert's Army career, right? Yes, I cried. Yes, he laughed at me. Yes, it hit him when we were driving off post that this was really it. Bittersweet, indeed.

Here he is (see the dot up by the building) walking into the MP Company for the very last time as SSG Bedford:

This is the final moment: The final stamp on the final Army issued document that signals the end of his military career.

I have so much to say about the Army, what it has meant to our family, what it has taught me about who I am and what really matters in life. I'll be sharing all of that in the coming days.
For today, just know that we are embracing this "new normal" and that we will slowly be getting used to living a normal civilian life....whatever that means!

Grifyn's cleft

2010-05-27T17:14:00.003-05:00

Grifyn & I spent a long 4 hours at Children's Hospital today visiting with 5 different specialists. I had no idea that his one appointment was going to be such a big production!! We went to find out if Grifyn has a submucous cleft, which is an opening in the mouth that doesn't close when it's supposed to (when making sounds to talk, eating, etc). Our speech therapist suspected that this was the reason that when Grifyn talks, it sounds like he's talking out his nose. She's actually suspected this since he first came to the US, but she wanted to give his language skills time to develop. So today, we headed to Children's Hospital to get some answers. We went to what they call the "cleft clinic". That means that we saw a variety of doctors that cover all aspects of problems that come with cleft related issues.

We started out with the audiologist. She explained that children with clefts often also have problems with their hearing. Our morning started off with a bang when Grifyn....my child with Down syndrome that has NEVER had any problems with his ears in the 2 years he's been in our family....FLUNKED the hearing test. She started out by measuring the vibration in his ear drums....and the right one didn't move! I knew as soon as she said, "Hmmmm, let's try this again." that things weren't going well. She then did the tone hearing test and he has what is considered mild hearing lost in his right ear. That was not what I wanted to hear first thing this morning! The audiologist told me not to worry...that hopefully the ENT would find fluid in his ears. We'd see the ENT later in the day.

Our next stop was the genetics doctor. This was another surprise for me, since I had no idea that kids with cleft issues often have a genetic component to it. I ended up having a very interesting conversation with the genetics doctor that went something like this:
Him: Are you sure that Grifyn has Down syndrome?
Me: Yes, I am sure (internally rolling my eyes because we get asked this ALL. THE. TIME.)
Him: Was he actually tested in the US or did they diagnose him in Serbia?
Me: He had genetic testing done in Serbia. When we brought him to the US, we requested genetic testing and they tested one cell, found an extra chromosome and that was that.
Him: We can test him to determine what type of Down syndrome he has. (he says this as he's looking intently at Grifyn and then examining his hands)
Me: I don't care what type of Down syndrome he has. He is who he is.
Him: hmmm (as he continues to examine Grifyn's hands...now with a magnifying glass and a light)
Me: I am aware that he does not have the crease in his palm. I am also aware that studies say that this means that he does not have Trisomy 21. Quite honestly, it does not matter.
Him: Well, if you are curious, we can find out.
Me: It doesn't matter to me, not at all. Knowing what type of Ds he has won't change a thing (at this point, what I wanted to say was: It seems to matter to YOU)
He seemed quite perplexed that I didn't want to know if Grifyn has Trisomy 21 or Mosaic Ds. He went on to ask me if I would be interested in taking Grifyn to a doctor at another hospital that specializes in children with Down syndrome. I told him only if the doctor would see all 3 of my boys during the same visit ;)
Now, I could say A LOT more on this subject. We talked for over 15 minutes about all of this. I will say that the genetics doctor was very nice. He seemed genuinely curious and genuinely confused as to why I wasn't jumping at the opportunity to have more testing done on Grifyn. But seriously folks, it doesn't matter. It wouldn't change one darn thing that we do for Grifyn nor improve the quality of his life or anything else, so I don't see any need in having Tricare pay the big bucks for a test just to be able to say "out of 500 cells, ___ have an extra chromosome" (because seriously, how often does that come up in conversation??? lol).

Next, we saw the speech therapist. She came in to listen to Grifyn talk in order to determine if she could hear the noise coming out his nose when he talks. She did. She said that the interesting that about Grifyn that is not typical in a kid that is suspected of having a submucous cleft is that while you can hear the noise when he talks in casual conversation, if he focuses on a word and articulates it slowly, the noise does not come out his nose. Hmmmm.....

Then, the surgeon came in. He examined Grifyn's mouth and he started off by saying, "Grifyn is not the typical case". Leave it to my kid to be the one that doesn't fit the mold! He went on to draw out what a typical mouth looks like on the inside and what the mouth of a child with a submucus cleft looks like. When a child has a submucus cleft, 3 things are present inside the mouth. Grifyn has one, does not have one and has half of the third. *sigh* So, there was no way to know just by a visual exam if Grifyn actually has a cleft. We talked about surgery options...and about the fact that if Grifyn needs surgery, there is not a 100% guarantee that it will help his speech.

The last doctor to join the party was the ENT. He brought in the scope in an effort to try to determine once and for all if Grifyn has a cleft. While he was numbing Grifyn's nose, he checked out his ears (remember that hearing test I mentioned above?). He said that the right eardrum has compacted wax around it. He hopes that this is what is keeping the drum from vibrating like it should. Finally, it was time for the scope. The surgeon and the speech therapist joined us in the room for the scope, so that they could see whatever the ENT found. Grifyn was PERFECT during the scope! The doctor put the scope inside his nose and Grifyn sat perfectly still and laughed through the whole thing! The speech therapist got Grifyn to pronounce certain words so that the ENT could observe the movements inside his mouth while he was trying to talk. It took only 2 words out of Grifyn's mouth before the ENT said, "He has a cleft... a pretty good one too." The surgeon took a peek through the scope, as did the speech therapist. Grifyn continued to charm them all with his laughing and answering their questions(to get him to talk) all while having this big scope up his nose!

The result of all of this is that Grifyn will have surgery to repair the submucous cleft. The ENT will also be there during surgery and he will clean out both of Grifyn's ears. If he finds fluid, he will go ahead and place tubes in Grifyn's ears. Once the ears are cleaned out, Grifyn will have another hearing test to see if this corrects the hearing loss (praying that it does!).
Surgery is scheduled for August 27th at Children's Hospital. As many times as we've been through procedures and surgeries with Xander, this will be the FIRST time that Grifyn has ever been put to sleep or had anything done more than a basic office visit.
His mama is a little worried about all of this right now.....

because I can :)

2010-05-26T23:02:00.001-05:00

Look at what the super talented RK made for me to use as my siggy on my favorite online forum! Isn't it just the cutest???!!!!

Xander GI update

2010-05-24T17:07:00.002-05:00

Xander & I went to Children's Hospital today for a visit with the surgery consult about his GI issues. The first thing the doctor said was, "If you end up being sent to me, that is not a good thing." Somehow, that was not reassuring. Even though other things have been done, he wants to be absolutely 100% sure that Xander does not have Hirschprung Disease(he said "because he does have Down syndrome after all." Really????) I thought that we did that with the barium enema...but apparently not. The barium enema checks the colon and he needs to check the rectum. So, Xander will have to have a procedure done to biopsy his rectum. They will put him to sleep and...as the doctor described it..."cut out a piece of his rectum". It'll be tested for Hirschprung Disease. If it comes back positive, then he'll treat that (I have no idea how because he said we'd discuss that if we needed to). If it comes back negative(and he thinks that it will & so do I), we only have one option left: Xander will have a port placed in his side. He'll get medicine through the port every day that goes directly into his intestines. The doctor said that it's basically an enema for the intestines. There is no other option.
The biopsy is scheduled for a couple of weeks from now. However, because of child care issues (ie: I have 5 other kids), I will be rescheduling it for late July, when Robert can be home to stay with the other kids for the day.
At this point, we just want something to be done to help Xander so that he can go to the bathroom on his own. The thought of him having a port and daily injections is not appealing...not at all. But, the alternative is just not acceptable. He's getting too big for enemas (ie: fighting it) and I'd really like for him to be able to potty train in the near future....which won't happen until we can get the bloating, pooping, never ending potty issues under control.

Caught red handed

2010-05-23T10:53:00.001-05:00

Anyone want to guess who it was that
dumped the trash can over?????

Update: Kullen

2010-05-20T18:41:00.004-05:00

I've been updating on Kullen's adjustment to our family on our adoption blog. It's been an interesting month, to say the least. None of what we're dealing with has been unexpected and honestly, things have went a lot smoother than I had anticipated.
Since being home, Kullen has been to see a variety of doctors. There have been no surprises there, so far. He went to the eye doctor today and he'll go back in 6 months. He's right at the line of where they would start a child wearing glasses to correct vision and the eye dr. said that he would guess that Kullen will be in glasses within a year. *sigh* He has an appointment next week at Children's Hospital to have the vaccine levels in his blood tested. We're also still waiting on his chromosome analysis to come back. Other than that, he's been given the "all clear" in every area. Once we get the results of the vaccine levels, we will know what shots (if any) he needs. We're also waiting on Tricare to approve the therapy evaluations. At this point, I really don't think he needs therapy. If we schedule him for anything, it will be OT. So, all the medical "stuff" is being addressed.
His speech is coming along nicely. He's using more and more English every day. He still has some Bulgarian words that he uses frequently (like "da", and another one that I won't even attempt to spell..lol), but others (like "merci"), he has transitioned to English and we no longer hear the Bulgarian version anymore. We are trying to do just like we did with Xander & Grifyn and be very consistent in things that we say, so that he has the opportunity to hear common phrases over and over again. This is quite effective and he's even able to follow a few simple directions now (as long as we remember to phrase them the same!).

I saved the best update for last.........

About a week after I brought Kullen home, I found some DVDs that I bought for the kids. Some were for Kullen, some for Xander and some for Grifyn & Zoie. I'll do an entire post about these DVDs and the supplement materials that go with them(which we're also using). For now, I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend that you click here and watch the video........

Update: Grifyn

2010-05-19T15:23:00.005-05:00

Grifyn is now affectionately called "Wild Man". It fits him well, don't ya think?

Like Xander, it has done a world of good pulling Grifyn out of public school. We have seen so many positive changes in the past couple of months and we are so very thankful for that!
Now, don't get me wrong....Grifyn WAS learning academics in school. But, his behavior and his attitude were getting worse and worse every week. Since being at home, he too has made a 180 degree turn with his behavior.
My little Wild Man has made some huge strides forward in the past couple of months. He's becoming more independent, taking the initiative to do things, playing WITH his siblings in a very appropriate way and we're now starting to see some imaginative play emerging too. He LOVES to pretend to change the tires on vehicles (look out NASCAR pit crews!) and he's now interacting with stuffed animals(jabbering away to them) and taking his brother, Jakob's, game of cops and robbers to a whole new level (he now tries to make us lay down on the ground before he "shoots" us!).
Academically, we've been focusing on his IEP goals to get through the remainder of this school year. He now knows 40 sight words and can read them in sentences and little books. He LOVES to read. He has an excellent visual memory, though I can see some of the processing delays coming through when he's reading. I've had to learn to be more patient...to not assume that he doesn't know a word when he pauses mid-sentence....to give him "thinking time". I'm also becoming more familiar with his learning style and that's helping me in my approach to teaching him too. Our goals for summer are to continue to reinforce the 40 words that he knows and to introduce the color words and number words 1-10. Hopefully, he can master those before August. He's also going to be working (along with Kullen) on the names of everyone in the family. He can already read "mom", "dad", "Grifyn" & "Xander", so he doesn't have but 4 more to go.
Writing continues to be his greatest weakness. His hands are so very weak....and it's difficult for him to make any type of meaningful mark on paper with a pencil. We're using markers and dry erase boards right now and we're working a lot on strengthening those hand muscles. I think that I'm going to start teaching him to type in August. I haven't quite decided on that yet.
I have decided not to teach him letter sounds. They had begun to work on this in school and Grifyn was so confused. Since he is such a visual learner and a concrete thinker, he thought that he was being told that he was wrong when he said the letter name. So, what ended up happening is that when he was reading, he's see the word/letter "I" and he's say /i/. He got to the point that when he was asked to identify a letter, he looked very confused and wouldn't answer. It caused A LOT of confusion for him and we actually had to back track and review the names of the letters and reinforce that he was right when naming letters. He is not at a point where he can blend sounds, so there is really no need for him to learn letter sounds yet. We're going to stick with what works for Grifyn, which is memorizing sight words. I do intend to start introducing sounds as he's ready....but that's not right now.

Grifyn just finished his Miracle League season. He did much better following directions this year and as always, he had a great time playing base ball. We're looking forward to him having at least one of his brothers on the field with him next year!

Health wise, Grifyn is doing very well. He's always been the healthiest of all my kids. He does have an appointment next week to have an issue with his mouth checked out. His speech therapist suspects that he has some type of cleft issue....and that this is what makes it sound like he talks through his nose. If it is the condition that she suspects, it can be fixed...and it will greatly increase his articulation (which would be wonderful!). I've also noticed in the past couple of days that one of his eyes is starting to turn in when he focuses on something. It's never done that before, so we're keeping an eye on that (no pun intended!). I really noticed it when he was reading yesterday and today. It seems like it mostly happens when he focuses on stuff. Xander has an eye that does that too and the eye doctor said it's just "a part of having low tone". I'm sure the same would be said about Grifyn's eye too. He doesn't act like he has any problems with his vision. He doesn't squint his eyes or anything like that. I also know that it'll have to be a lot worse before Tricare will approve him to go to the eye doctor. So for now, we'll just watch it.....and I'll try not to be my normal paranoid self!

I did want to mention that Grifyn has reacted well to the addition of a new sibling. In many ways, he has "stepped up" and shown Kullen how to do things. He has been the target of Kullen's bullying more than the other kids. But, in typical Grifyn fashion, he's taken it all in stride and has continued to reach out to his new brother. It is my prayer that they will one day be the best of friends...and I do think that day will come. Grifyn's also been "working" with daddy a lot in the past few weeks. He's been having "guy time" and going with Robert to a friend's house to work on cars. He comes home COVERED in grease from head to toe! Robert says that Grifyn is right there with the men.....climbing under the cars, turning wrenches, sitting on the engine (ok, so the men don't do that, just Grifyn!), etc. He is so proud when he comes home from these trips with dad. He happily exclaims, "Mama, work, work!" and I point to his greasy self and say, "Yes, I can tell that you've been working!" He really enjoys this time with his dad and Robert has been getting a kick out of having Grifyn going with him and hanging out with the guys.

Overall, our Wild Man is doing great! He has the biggest smile to go with his big personality and he is quite the little charmer. He is always doing something to make me laugh and he gives The Best hugs and "bumps" (fist bumps). Now, we're just hopeful that Wild Man doesn't have too wild of a summer :)

Heavy Heart

2010-05-19T08:07:00.002-05:00

When I first starting working with families adopting from Serbia, there was one particular little one that was in critical need of finding a family. Barbara was very sick & needed her heart fixed.

I watched not one, but two families commit to adopt her and then back out. I remember praying that this little girl would not die alone in an orphanage. The Patterson family was an answer to my prayers for this little Serbian princess. I prayed for them, for little Barbara to hang on until they could get there and last October, I shed tears of joy when I saw this photo on the Patterson's blog:

Little Barbara, who the Patterson family renamed Chrissie, had finally been united with her family! Little Chrissie's heart turned out to be much worse off than even the bad diagnosis that had been given in Serbia & one month ago, she had surgery to fix a heart that doctors said never should have allowed her to live more than just a couple of days after she was born.

This morning, Chrissie went home to be with Jesus.
God did grant the deep desire of this little girl's heart and sent her a mommy & a daddy of her very own. She lived.....really lived.....for the 6 months that she spent with her family. For that, I am thankful.

Please pray for the Patterson family as they walk this next chapter in their life
& say goodbye to their daughter.
You can read all about Chrissie, her amazing testimony & the rest
of the Patterson family on Lorraine's blog by
clicking here.

Update: The kiddos with "just" 46 ;)

2010-05-18T19:57:00.003-05:00

Here's an end of the school year update on my 3 kiddos that are actually IN school right now :) :

Jakob is spending his very last week in elementary school. Yes, I will have a child in MIDDLE SCHOOL next year. It is so hard for me to believe that he's old enough to be going to middle school. Wasn't it just yesterday that he was a tiny little baby and I was wondering if he'd ever sleep through the night???? He says that he's excited about middle school. He's more excited about summer time though :)

Olivia is finishing up 2nd grade this week. She's growing up right before my eyes. She's having some "growing pains" right now...in the form of her attitude and her mouth getting ahead of her brain. We're working through it. She's a great kid and generally, we don't have any problems with her. But, she's going through a phase of trying to assert some independence....and sometimes needs a reminder that part of being "all grown up" is respecting other people, even with our tone of voice (I still need that reminder sometimes too!).

Then, there is our darling youngest. Miss Zoie keeps us on our toes, that is for sure! She is finishing up pre-k and she is very excited about starting kindergarten in the fall. She's also VERY excited about turning 5 years old (she's still got a few months, but she has this minor obsession with birthdays going on right now). Zoie is as bossy as ever. I still maintain that she is going to be the kid that makes all my hair turn grey. I can't even imagine this little spitfire as a teenager!

Xander: An update

2010-05-17T16:00:00.003-05:00

I feel like I haven't done a "real" update on the kids in a long time. So, let's start with Xander!

(this is my new favorite photo of me & my boy!)

Let me start by saying that pulling the boys out of school has been THE BEST decision that we have ever made. I did not realize how negatively school had impacted them until they were out for about a month. Now, I have MY boys back...and it is wonderful!
With Xander, we have seen such HUGE improvements with his behavior since he's been out of school. The self-abuse has completely stopped. This had escalated to the point where it was almost uncontrollable...to the point that we were starting to look into medications......and now, it's gone. He is no longer biting himself...not at all. He no longer hits himself in the head. The excessive, over the top stimming has stopped. All the things that were causing me to lose sleep at night are GONE....and went away within a week of pulling him out of school.
In addition to the extreme behaviors disappearing, we've seen other positive changes:
He is back to feeding himself 100% of the time, he is beginning to engage people more, he's actually seeking out interactions a whole lot more and, for the first time ever, he's actually showing a desire to be in the same room with people and being a part of whatever is going on(sometimes). His speech/communication has taken a huge leap forward. He is using 2-4 word phrases(usually with signs), expressing what he wants and this week, he even made up his own sign to communicate something to us (and it only took us about 24 hours to figure it out....lol). even the therapists that see him in private therapy have commented about what a drastic change...for the better....Xander has made since being removed from school. They too have seen a much LESS aggressive child and a much MORE engaged little boy! He is even in the very beginning stages of starting to mimic the actions of others....but it still has to be on his terms and when HE wants to do it (he's not motivated in the least by the other kids or anything else...which is a part of the Autism)
Now, he DOES still stim...quite a bit....he DOES still have moments where he disconnects from the rest of the world(and moments where he expresses that he wants to be left alone), he DOES still have all his sensory quirks that we have to continuously "feed"(or we will see an increase in the negative stimming) & from time to time, we do see a little of the self-aggression in the form of banging his head or pulling his hair(which has always been present with him, even before he went to school). His major "stim" area is still his mouth and his major obsession is still water. He is still not motivated...not in the least...by what the other kids are doing nor does he really show any desire to be "a part of the crowd. These are parts of the Autism and we continue to address them daily. But, overall, we have seen such a drastic improvement in him since pulling him out of school that I feel VERY guilty for ever subjecting him to public school to begin with! Oh, and did I mention that he's walking all over the house?

He's even stopped holding his arms in the air for balance most of the time(like most toddlers do when they are learning to walk). So, he's getting more confident on his feet!
He still can't just stand and balance. I believe that this is because he still (over 2 years post-surgery) keeps his big toes off the ground (and tries to keep all his toes off the ground). Do you see that in the photo above? We're going to try to get him back in with the orthopedic doctor (yep, the one that said he'd never walk!) and see if now that he IS walking, if he could benefit from some type of brace that will keep his feet (or toes) flat on the ground. He is currently figuring out how to pull himself to a stand without pulling up on something and he's just about got that mastered. I'm sure that this skill would be much easier if he could actually balance once he stood up! He will even walk while he's in the pool! So, we're very proud of the progress he's made in this area. He rarely ever scoots around the house now. For the first time in a long time, I am hopeful that the day will come when I will not need to have the wheelchair in the back of the Suburban and I won't need the handicap tag hanging on the visor......because ALL my kids will be WALKING beside me!

Xander has entered a new developmental stage in the past few weeks that I'm not real fond of. This came about right at the time when Kullen joined the family, so it's very possible that this was triggered by the newest addition to the house. But, it's now carried over into every aspect of life. What stage is that? It's the "pouting and crying when I don't get my way" stage *sigh*
Well, actually, he doesn't cry....he moans and whines. It's a very annoying sound (and I'm convinced that he knows that it's annoying...which is why he does it). Oh, and the pouting....OH.MY.GOODNESS. He can pout with the best of 'em! Mostly, the "not getting his way" is when he wants to be picked up and he's told no. He wants to be in my lap...constantly. Now, that'd be fine except that: 1.) He's HEAVY and 2.) He doesn't just want to sit there, he wants to be moving around and doing stuff. I DO pick him up at times and I DO sit and rock him or snuggle with him (which is also new and very exciting that he now will let me do this and seeks it out). But, his other newest obsession is singing "The Wheels on the Bus". He wants to sing this song constantly. Wait....correction...he wants ME to sing it over and over again. After about the 50th time, a mom just has to say NO. Here is the common pouting position that we see:

(I wish I was this flexible)

In this photo, he'd actually pouted himself to sleep! The pouting....I can deal with. It's actually quite funny to see him FINALLY expressing his own wants/preferences. This phase has come with him also making choices...choosing between drinks, foods, etc. So, I am hopeful that the pouting stage will lead to a step forward developmentally too. We shall see.

Our biggest concern right now with Xander is his continuous GI issues. He's not having bowl movements at all without "assistance". He has an appointment with the surgery center at Children's Hospital next week. The doctors have run every test and prescribed every medication that they can. Something more invasive is needed to try to determine what is going on. Honestly, I think his body just does not have the urge to go...not at all. I don't know if that means his intestines aren't working right or what. But, I sure hope we can get some answers next week.

Overall, my Ukrainian angel is growing up right before our eyes. This summer, we will celebrate his 6th birthday and THREE years of having him home. Every day, I am reminded of what a precious gift he is to our family. Despite everything he has faced and continues to face in his life, he still has the most honest and beautiful laugh that I have ever heard. I can't help but smile every time that I hear him giggle. I tell him all the time that it's HIS fault that I have 6 kids. If he wasn't so darn cute and irresistible, I wouldn't have wanted more ;)

Why I love my husband(one of the many reasons)

2010-05-15T13:01:00.002-05:00

The kids were playing in the pool:

Xander was in his own little pool area....dumping water on himself
(water is his biggest sensory "thing", so he'll sit in a pool all day)

Zoie, Grifyn & Kullen playing (and getting along..whoo-hoo!) in the bigger pool)

I asked Robert to keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes so that I could do something. I had been sitting by the back door, watching the kids from a distance (they tend to play better together if they think I'm not paying attention..lol). I asked Robert to just sit and watch them for a couple of minutes.
I came back and found this.........

He got in the pool with them!!!!!!
The kids thought this was SO funny. He played in the pool with them for over an hour.
I'm so very thankful for a husband that is not just a father, but a hands-on dad!

Grifyn & the dog

2010-05-13T08:23:00.003-05:00

Grifyn LOVES our dog, Jazper. It is so funny to watch the 2 of them interact. Jazper prefers to play tug-of-war over fetch and Grifyn thinks that playing tug-of-war is so funny....so it works out well for both of them :)

I must admit that when Robert first brought Jazper home, I didn't think he'd last in our house more than a week. He's a BIG dog. But, I have been pleasantly surprised with how well he's done in our family. He's actually very calm....and he's GREAT with the kids.
Here's a short video clip of Grifyn & Jazper playing tug-of-war. As soon as Grifyn "wins", he throws the toy. When Jazper chases it, he yells "good boy!". His daddy is already teaching him dog commands too...lol.
(Ps: I love Grifyn's laugh and you can hear that in the video too)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

You dressed him in WHAT???!!!!

2010-05-10T16:51:00.003-05:00

There is a reason that Robert is usually "not allowed" to pick out clothes for the kids.........

What if your Mother's Day wish was.....

2010-05-08T18:10:00.005-05:00

......for someone else to step forward and be a mother to your child?

This is Nathan. Nathan is 2 years old and is legally an orphan in Eastern Europe. He's available for adoption and his social worker is actively seeking a family for this precious little boy. But Nathan's story is different than most orphans with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe. It started out the same.....baby is born, baby is diagnosed with Down Syndrome, birth parents declare that they can not parent baby due to the fact that he has Down syndrome and refuse to take him home. Now, here's where Nathan's story is different: This baby was NOT sent to an orphanage to live. Instead, he was placed with a foster family immediately after birth. He has NEVER stepped foot in an orphanage. This is VERY unusual in Eastern Europe. But that's not the end of Nathan's unusual story. Nathan's birth family stayed involved in his life. Sadly, his birth parents marriage did not survive the stress and changes that happened after Nathan's birth, but his birth mother has stayed an active part of his life. She visits him twice a month to spend time with him.

Nathan's birth mother is not in a position to raise Nathan. She has been given encouragement and support, but does not feel that her situation is one that is conducive to raising a child with a disability in her country. However, she DOES want Nathan to have a permanent family. She is aware that this won't happen in her country. She has given permission for Nathan to be adopted internationally and ensured that all of the paper work is legally in order so that Nathan can immediately be adopted by a family that submits a dossier requesting to adopt him.

She didn't just stop there. In an effort to help her son find a forever family, she took over 10 photos of Nathan and gave them to us ("us" being Reece's Rainbow), in an effort to help find a family for her son. We even have a photo of Nathan with his birth mother.

Today, I look at these photos and think about this mother. A mother who loves her son so much that she would take photos to be given to a stranger on the other side of the world, in the hopes that another mother will see them and step forward to also be a mother to her little boy. I can't even begin to imagine the enormity of that decision. Nathan's birth mother has indicated that she'd love to receive updates on Nathan as he grows and it is possible that the adopting family can meet her during the adoption process. This is a very unique opportunity in international adoption and I am praying that a family will step forward for this precious little boy very soon!

*If you are interested in learning more about adopting Nathan, you can view his profile here and/or send me an email (contact info in the side bar)*

whew What day is it????

2010-05-06T20:39:00.002-05:00

It's been a busy week around here!
Kullen has had several appointments that required traveling to get to, we've been trying to schedule more appointments(for Xander & Grifyn) which means lots of time on the phone(and on hold!) and just keeping up with the things on the calendar for this week (T-ball, Miracle League, therapy, etc).
Life is clicking along as we gear up for summer time & some
BIG, HUGE, LIFE ALTERING
changes for this family of mine.
That too has thrown some extra stress, extra things to do, etc
into the weekly schedule.
I have been taking lots of photos & I do have lots that I want to share.
But, tonight I must make a list of all the things that must be done tomorrow
and start on the list of things that need to be done next week too.
(we actually have ZERO plans for the weekend & I'm good with that!!!!)

For now, will you please say a prayer for the situation with our
domestic foster/adopt situation.
There is a very precious child that is spending day after day in a
not so wonderful environment because our file is sitting on the desk
of our local social services office waiting
on one signature that will allow us to begin visits & start the transition of bringing this not-so-little-boy into our home. He's been on my mind today and my heart has been really burdened today that we need to start pushing to get this process moving forward again. So tomorrow,
we begin the push....again :)

fun in the sun!

2010-05-02T19:01:00.005-05:00

Today was a beautiful sunny day, so we dusted off the bathing suits and let the kids play in the water. Originally, I had asked Robert to pull out the sand box so that I could clean it up in preparation for buying some new sand. Instead, it ended up filled with water and 2 little boys!
All the kids played happily outside for about 2 hours.
I'm so glad that we're finally getting our beautiful south Alabama sunshine back after months worth of yucky cold and rain!!!!

Girl's Day Out!

2010-05-01T19:56:00.002-05:00

Today, we had Girl's Day Out!
I took Olivia and Zoie for a few hours of "girl time"
and we had so much fun!
We started our day at Books A Million.
Olivia had asked our extended family for gift cards for
her birthday,
so that she could buy books to read this summer.
She loves to read. So, we went to BAM for her to spend
her gift cards(I forgot to take pictures at this stop). I told Zoie that I would buy
her a book. But, she opted for something else...and something to share too.
You'll see those photos a little later ;)

After the book store, we went to the movies.
We watched the movie, "How to Train Your Dragon"
I LOVED it! (so did the girls)
AWESOME movie. Highly recommend it.
The girls had popcorn, sour straws and slushies.
It was a very nutritious lunch :)

After that, we went to Sam's. I was looking for a kid's workbook that I had bought there about a month ago. I wanted to get another one to use with Kullen. They, of course, did not have any more. But, I did find a couple of DVDs for the kids (sight words/letter/numbers/colors for the boys). So, that stop wasn't a total waste.
We ended our girl time with a stop at the ice cream place! We were going to sit outside and eat, but the ice cream was melting faster than the girls could eat. So, we ended up back in the air conditioned car, so that they'd have a chance to eat more ice cream than what was dripping down the sides!

We got home and Zoie shared her loot from BAM with Kullen and Grifyn. If you know Grifyn,
you know that he loves anything Sponge Bob. So, here's what Zoie picked out:

Sponge Bob

Mr. Crabs & Gary

We had a blast during Girl's Day Out. It's always fun to hang out with my girls. They are growing up so fast and I know that the day will come where spending a Saturday afternoon with mom is torture in their minds and not fun. So, I'm soaking in the FUN while I can!

Xander: GI results & crying

2010-04-30T17:31:00.003-05:00

The barium enema that was done yesterday did not show anything conclusive. Unfortunately, that's what we thought would happen. So, the next step is to visit the pediatric surgery center. The referral has been put in....and now we wait.
The pediatrician told us today that she has another patient that has a port in his side and every day, medicine is injected directly into his colon(or maybe his intestines?). It's the only way they could get the child to have bowl movements unassisted. I really, really, REALLY hope that we don't end up having to go that route. But, I do know that something has to be done.

In unrelated news, Xander has had a ROUGH day. He has a little bit of a runny nose (no where near as bad as it usually is and it's clear) and that's the only outward symptom. But, he has cried.....yes, CRIED(if you know Xander, you know how rare this is)....all day. He's pulled at his hair a few times and he's pressed his hands to his head. So, we are wondering if maybe he has a headache....possibly a sinus pressure head ache. It's hard to tell with Xander because the hair pulling could just be a sensory thing.....though he usually doesn't pull hair. Still, something is clearly wrong. I don't know if it's actually a physical pain or if he's just having a bad day. But, the fact that he never cries and the fact that he's been crying ALL day, makes me think that something is bothering him. We've given him sinus medicine in case it's a sinus pressure headache, as well as Tylenol. He's happy for a little while and then crying again. He wants to sit and snuggle at times......but then he gets mad and starts crying again. He was at the doctor less than 24 hours ago and had a very detailed exam. His ears, throat and nose were all clear then. There is no sign of ear drainage, no coughing, no sneezing, no nothing....and other than pressing on his head from time to time, he's not favoring any part of his body. His stomach is not hard or bloated like it would be if he was having constipation issues and he's still eating and drinking with his normal appetite. It's time like this when him being non-verbal SUCKS. We're watching him closely. If he's still like this tomorrow, I will probably take him to the doctor just to have his checked over again. This is completely unlike him. Today, I have been reminded what an awesome and HAPPY kid he is 99.9% of the time. This is just so NOT him.....and it's making every one's life miserable around here! We're praying that he wakes up in the morning and is back to his normal happy self. Either that, or we can figure out what is causing the tears (but I prefer to have the happy kid back!).

doctors visits x4

2010-04-29T16:44:00.003-05:00

Today we took 4 of the kids to the doctor for various reasons/referrals. Here's a run down of what we accomplished today:

Grifyn weighed in at 39 pounds today. He's the tiniest of my crew right now. He's getting a referral to a pediatric ENT for a scope of his nose/mouth/cleft area. His speech therapists has suspected for a while that he has some issues going on. I won't even begin to try to explain it because I don't really understand it all. Basically, she thinks something isn't opening/closing like it should and this is why it sounds like he's talking out his nose. If this is indeed the problem...and everyone believes that it is....correcting it should help not only his speech/articulation, but also his mouth breathing.

Olivia weighed in at 42 pounds. She went for her annual check-up. I still can't believe that my girl is EIGHT years old. I still remember the day the ultrasound tech told me that I was going to have a daughter.....can't believe it's been 8+ years ago. Anyway.....
Olivia is now taking daily medication for asthma. We've suspected that she has asthma her whole life. But, the doctors kept hoping that she'd outgrow it. She hasn't and it's getting worse as she gets older (ie: more active). So, she did the breathing test today (and failed..lol) and now she's taking "medicine for her lungs"(how the doc explained it to her) twice a day for the next 30 days. She's go back to the doctor on May 28th for another breathing test to see if the medicine helps. Interestingly enough, the doctor told us today that severe eczema and asthma often go hand-in-hand. Olivia for sure has the severe eczema. We're trying a couple of different things for that now too. Other than that, she's a healthy 8 year old! She's still tiny on the growth chart, but since I happen to know her daddy and grandmother, I am not concerned in the least about her small size.

Xander weighed in today at 43 pounds. Yes, he weighs more than Olivia..lol! He's come along way from the 16 pound 4 year old :) Xander was there today to discuss his GI issues....AGAIN. He still can't go to the bathroom (bowl movement) without an enema. Things are getting worse instead of better. We've tried every medicine, supplement, intervention out there and nothing has worked. He's seen multiple GI doctors...none of whom have been pro-active in getting to the bottom of the problem (no pun intended). Our pediatrician ordered a barium study today to look for pieces of dead intestines. She doesn't think that this is the cause...but it needs to be ruled out. The next step is a visit with pediatric surgery at Children's Hospital. There is nothing else to do that can be done outside of a hospital.
We went for the barium test right after our pediatrician visit (the hospital is next door). Xander did really well. He only fussed when they rolled him onto his side (he does NOT like to lay on his side). The tech doing the test said, "This is like a super enema. He will have a poop explosion after this." I told her that I'd be really impressed if that actually happened.....and as I suspected, it did NOT. He did not poop at all after the barium (and still hasn't 12 hours later). We should get the results from that tomorrow and then know what the next step is. Most likely, it will be a visit to Birmingham and Children's Hospital.

Finally, it was Kullen's turn! He weighed in at a whopping 48 pounds! Ok, so that may not be big to most of you, but in our house, that's big! He weighs 6 pounds more than his big sister! He's one inch shorter than her. Since it was his first visit, Kullen had a general exam and we talked about questions/concerns. He has a cardiology appointment next week to check his heart. His medical records indicated a heart condition, so it needs to be checked. He also has an appointment with ENT next week too. He needs his hearing checked and his tonsils looked at (they're huge). He's also going to go to the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham. There is nothing that these folks can tell me/do that will actually be beneficial(all they do is give you referrals to specialists, which my doctor has already done). But, they are, according to our pediatrician, the only people in the state that can do the test to check his vaccination levels in his blood. So, he'll go there for a blood draw. He has an appointment with the eye doctor in a couple of weeks to make sure that his vision is good. The referrals have been put in for therapy evaluations. Ummm...what else???? Oh, he had blood drawn today to check to see if he does, in fact, have an extra 21st chromosome lurking around :) He didn't even flinch when the nurse took blood out of his arm. He was, however, VERY excited about the sticker that he got when she was done.

All in all, it was a busy morning!

Back and blogging again!

2010-04-27T20:31:00.003-05:00

Kullen and I are home from Bulgaria and our entire family is settling in to the new normal as a family of eight.

Life did not slow down in my absence. I came home to a to-do list a mile long! I'm working my way through it this week and trying to get caught up on everything from the time I was away and also attempt to not get further behind with things that need to be accomplished currently. Someone mentioned today that this is the last week of April. SERIOUSLY???!!!! WOW!

Hopefully, I can get back in the groove of blogging by the end of the week!

Leaving on a jet plane!

2010-04-05T08:50:00.000-05:00

It is finally time! Today, my journey back to Eastern Europe begins. I hope that all of you will follow along on the journey to Serbia & Bulgaria. All the posts from Eastern Europe will be on our adoption blog, which you can link to by clicking this button: (and do make sure to look at my new blog design too)

Grab This Button

My Fab Five!

2010-04-04T21:03:00.002-05:00

One last time as "just" five

Next time they are all together, there will be SIX!!!!!!!!!

Cross post: Good Friday-The adoption story

2010-04-02T09:15:00.001-05:00

Today is Good Friday. I have shared several times that Easter is my favorite holiday and it always has been. Easter is a time to focus on hope, on new beginnings and on The Undying Promise that was made long ago. Easter is a time for our family to celebrate that our Savior is Alive. For me, it is a time to remember that because of what He endured on Good Friday, I am Redeemed….my ransom has been paid in full.

That is why today, I am thinking about a blog post that I read over a year ago. There is actually one phrase from this post that I quote often when people try to give me praise for adopting. It’s not about me. It never has been and it’s certainly not now. When people ask me why we adopt, why we “choose” children with special needs, why we “pay all that money”, why we continue to talk and advocate with every breath, why we do this again and again, etc….this is the phrase that I think of & this is the one that I share to put the focus back where it belongs. Quite honestly, this is also the reminder that I’ve clung to throughout this adoption when things got tough. It is a reminder that I have needed many times in this journey. I will be honest. There have been many times in the past 13+ months that I have cried out to The Lord and asked Him why….why, if adoption is Your heart, is this journey so hard? Why, knowing that there are 143 million+ orphans in this world, why does it have to be such a fight to bring just one home. Then, He gently reminds me of the words of this blog post.
Today, Good Friday, is the perfect day to share this blog post with all of you, because today is about Redemption. First, let me share for those of you who are not familiar with this family that the author of this blog post was killed in a car wreck right before Christmas 2009. His wife and children have carried on his passion for adoption and I believe, with all of my heart, that God is going to do amazing things for and through that family…He already is. Here is the reminder from that post that is dear to my heart in regards to adoption. It is my daily reminder that regardless of what we go through to complete an adoption, it’s all worth it…..because Jesus went through so much more to adopt me:

"My friends,adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much.
When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him."

I encourage you to read the entire blog post here.

For those of you in the midst of the adoption process, I pray that you will feel encouraged today. Adoption is a war, of that I have no doubt. Satan doesn't want to see children placed in families and he doesn't want to see families walking the adoption journey. he wants you to miss that blessing....and trust me when I tell you that it is a blessing that you do not want to miss!

I hope that you all have a blessed Good Friday and that you all know the truth behind today. It is my prayer that all of you can celebrate Easter on Sunday with the knowledge that your debt has been paid and that because of the suffering on Good Friday and the fulfilling of The Promise on Easter Sunday, you too are redeemed and adopted!

Chucky Cheese

2010-03-31T19:32:00.003-05:00

We took the boys to Chucky Cheese for lunch and fun with friends
last week while the girls were in school.
It was weird only having 2 kids to keep up with!!!!
Daddy attempted to teach both boys to play skee ball (sp?):

They had fun.....and this is a great activity to work on building hand/arm strength
for Grifyn!

The boys had fun playing all kinds of games.

and we enjoyed getting to hang out with our friends for the afternoon!

Poor neglected blog!

2010-03-30T20:47:00.004-05:00

Things have been busy, busy, busy around here lately! My poor blog has been very neglected in the process! In this post, I'm going to recap some of the many things that are filling up our days lately.
1.) At the beginning of March, I pulled the boys out of school. I am now officially (and legally!) homeschooling both Grifyn and Xander. It was not something that I intended to start in the middle of the year, but it was necessary. This will be something that I share a lot more details about in the future and will become a whole separate section of my blog once I have time to stop and breathe. My hope/plan is to chronical our entire year of home schooling next year.
As far as what is going on right now, I will only say one thing:
We have seen SIGNIFICANT improvements in both boys since pulling them out of school. I do believe that our school district does the best with what they have. However, it's not what we want for our boys. So, here we are....

2.) Baseball x2!

Grifyn is playing in the Miracle League again this year:

Zoie is playing T-ball this year. She was so glad to finally be old enough
to play and she LOVES it!

Olivia decided not to play baseball this year. So, she is the designated
cheerleader for both of her siblings!

3.) Spring cleaning!
We've been doing several odd and end projects around the house. I don't have any photos to document this, so instead I'm sharing a couple of cute photos of Grifyn helping daddy
wash the car :)

4.) Xander has made a remarkable step forward in his development in the
past couple of months. Not being in school has really "agreed" with him.
He is starting to take the initiative in some things and show us that he does,
in fact, have his own opinion and his own preferences. This is really good coming
from Xander....who most of the time doesn't care about anything and is not motivated by
anything or anyone. This photo is just one example. He wanted to jump on his trampoline.
But, he wanted the trampoline on the couch. He kept pointing to the couch and looking at
the trampoline. I told him no...several times....and this is what he did:

Little stinker!!!!!

5.) This is just a random photo of 2 of my favorite guys!

This weekend we will have an early birthday celebration for our oldest 2. Jakob will
turn 11 in April and Olivia will be 8. It's hard to believe that my April "babies" are turning
11 and 8!

6.) Most of the blogging in April will be happening over here. I will be leaving on Monday for Serbia and Bulgaria and will be bringing Kullen HOME in April! I hope that all of you will follow along on the adoption blog!

Happy Friday!

2010-03-26T10:24:00.001-05:00

Anybody want a hug?????

The tunnel

2010-03-25T07:34:00.000-05:00

*Continuing this week's photo overload. Enjoy!*

We have this huge tunnel in our back yard. At one time, it was a part of a Burger King play area. For whatever reason, my children seem to enjoy climing ON it instead of in it.

(at least ONE kid knows what the tunnel is for!)

Recycle!

2010-03-24T07:40:00.001-05:00

Zoie had a favorite dress that she had outgrown. She could still wear it, but it was way too short. So, her daddy got a little creative and took a pair of her jeans that had worn out knees and her dress that was too short to wear and turned them into a skirt!

All he did was take the chest area off the dress and cut the legs out of the jeans.
A quick 15 minutes of work = one happy 4 year old girl!
Gotta love recycling clothes!!!!

cimbing the wall

2010-03-23T07:00:00.002-05:00

*This week is incredibly busy as I prepare everything needed for my return to Eastern Europe, get the house/bedroom/kids ready for the addition of another child, plan a birthday party for my April babies(Jakob and Olivia), get everything ready for Easter, and.....continue to keep up with the day to day stuff. So, this week will be photo overload. Enjoy!*

This is a series of photos that I took at the park this past weekend. These photos capture one of the many moments that make me so proud as a mom.
Zoie was teaching Grifyn how to climb up the wall. I wish I would have recorded video of this. She was so funny telling him exactly what to do. I can always tell that my children are listening to me when I talk when I hear them repeating my words. I heard Zoie say, "Be very careful and pay attention to what you are doing" and "take your time Grifyn" and then the one that made me laugh out loud: "Good job Grifyn! You are doing such a great job listening to my directions." She walked Grifyn through step by step....where to put his feet, where to put his hands and everything. She was a very good coach/supporter and both of them did make it to the top of the wall!
(I thought I did very well by standing back and taking photos and not rushing to help too!!!!)

I do believe that the photo below is one of my favorite photos of Zoie & Grifyn together!

At the park

2010-03-22T07:21:00.001-05:00

Blessed x3!!!!

2010-03-21T06:15:00.000-05:00

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. 3-21....a third 21st chromosome......

Today, I can say, without a doubt that we have been BLESSED X 3!
Today, we honor our boys.....extra chromosome and all.
Mommy & Daddy love you boys and we are so very thankful for the privilege
of being your parents!

My Mechanic

2010-03-18T16:14:00.002-05:00

Jakob is on spring break this week. He and Robert have been having "guy time" during the day.
They have been going to a mechanic shop where one of Robert's friends works and helping that friend take an engine out of a Yukon. In other words, they are playing with tools and getting dirty. As I said, "guy time".

(and he is wearing Robert's BDU's from Basic Training days!
My little boy is growing up!)

On Tuesday, when the guys got ready to come home, our van wouldn't start. Good thing it was at a mechanic's shop! After some tinkering under the hood and some testing with a little more sophisticated equipment, it was determined that the alternator was bad on our van :(
Yesterday, Robert made some calls and it looked like we were going to be spending $100-200 to get the alternator rebuilt/replaced. So today, Robert & Jakob got up and headed out to take the old alternator out of the van and get it fixed/replaced. Robert decided to let Jakob do most of the work of disassembling the old alternator. He reminded Jakob to be very careful and very observant while under the hood. A few minutes later, Jakob yelled, "hey, look at that!".
"That" turned out to be one tiny wire that had broken loose from the alternator. "That" turned out to be the culprit for the bad alternator....and "that" saved me at least $100 since it was able to be fixed for free!
I paid my very observant mechanic $20. He's going to the PX tonight, where he will probably spend that hard earned money at Game Stop!

just in case....

2010-03-16T13:55:00.001-05:00

Just in case you read along on this blog and not our adoption blog, today is a day that you really, really, REALLY want to click right here.

walking

2010-03-14T18:41:00.003-05:00

Guess who is staying on his FEET a whole lot more?
We rarely see Xander scooting around the house anymore. Instead, he's pulling to a stand and walking wherever he wants to go. He's still a little unsteady on his feet, but he's finally TRYING to walk all the time now. He still can't just stand and balance...which is the strangest thing. So, if he's not moving, he falls. There are still times too where he just loses his balance and falls over. He gets so mad when that happens. But still, he's trying! We know that his brain has to realize that he WANTS to walk and not scoot....and we're starting to see that. When we're walking with him in public now (holding his hand), he will spontaneously let go and take a few steps. Most of the time, he doesn't realize he's done it until he tries to stop walking...and falls.
Now, we just need to figure out how to help him learn to balance while standing still!

In honor of Wold Down Syndrome Day

2010-03-13T14:00:00.006-06:00

Meet "Nathan"

Nathan is 2 years old and lives in Eastern Europe. When he was diagnosed with Down syndrome after birth, instead of being placed in an orphanage, he went to live with a foster family. He has NEVER been in an orphanage. Though he is legally clear for international adoption, he does still have a relationship with his birth mother. He is fortunate to know the love and affection of a family. However, his birth mother can not take him home and his foster family does not wish to make him a permanent part of their family. So, his social worker is actively seeking a forever family for this little boy.
Nathan walks, can say some basic words, eats with a spoon and enjoys bath time. Nathan loves music and dancing, has fun playing with other children his age and shows affection toward his foster family and his birth mother. He has experienced the love of a family and does not demonstrate any behavioral concerns. He is completely healthy. Despite the shaved head in this photo, his social worker has assured us that he has a head full of beautiful hair. Nathan's birth mother has agreed to take some new photos of Nathan at her next visit so that we will have updated photos of him to share with interested families (this one is from last summer). Nathan is fortunate to have never stepped foot in an orphanage and we are praying that we can find a family that is willing to take him home as a permanent member of their family.
Nathan currently has $1115 in grant money toward the cost of his adoption.

If I, as a mother, knew that I could not raise my child, I pray that someone would step up and do that job for me. That's what Nathan's birth mother is asking....she's willing to give her child the greatest gift....a chance to have a life.....a forever family......instead of life in an orphanage or an institution.

So, in honor of Wold Down Syndrome Day and the 21.3.10 project, our family is making a donation to Nathan's grant fund. We would love to have others join us. For my family and friends reading this, you can honor our boys by making a donation to Nathan's grant fund this weekend. Might I suggest a $21 donation...in honor of that extra 21st chromosome that we love so much :)
Donations can be made here with an indication that the donation is for Nathan. I'd love to see this little one's grant fund grow. But most of all, I'd love for his forever family to find him!

Bubble bath and nap time

2010-03-12T09:14:00.003-06:00

Grifyn and Zoie have recently decided that they like taking bubble baths. Most of the time, they do really well. By that, I mean that the bubbles stay in the bath. Well, that is, until one of them got the bright idea that a bubble bath should be more like a swimming pool. It's never good when you're sitting on the couch and your brain tunes in to a noise that shouldn't be there and just as you think, "What's that noise?", the other part of your brain...the mommy radar...kicks in and realizes that the noise is running water! That's when you go in to the bathroom and find this....

What you can't see in this photo is that the floor and the walls are also covered in bubbles! We had a nice conversation about bath time rules......NO turning on the water after mommy turns it off and NO bubbles outside the tub (even if you think you need to paint the walls with bubbles!).
It's a good thing they are so darn cute!

This is Xander's new favorite place/way to take a nap:

This is the couch in our playroom. He has started going in there in the afternoons and falling asleep....standing up. He does it on purpose. He will stand like this until he falls asleep. We've tried putting him up on the couch when we see him like this....thinking that we are "helping" him lay down. He always gets back in this position. He'll sleep like this for an hour or more. It doesn't look comfortable at all. But, apparently it is!

the letter

2010-03-10T10:32:00.002-06:00

Last night, we had the last of our foster care/domestic adoption training classes with our social worker. She is so nice and I'm so glad that she was the one that walked through this process with us. She brought all the kids a small gift last night and that just made their day! Zoie, in all her 4 year old bluntness, hugged her and said, "Since you are not coming back, can my brother come home now?" Despite our explaining to her numerous times, Zoie still thinks that this social worker is the one that will let Kullen come home from Bulgaria. Oh, how I wish that was true!

So, we've completed all the classes and turned in all the paper work. There is just one thing left that we have to do. We have to write a letter to the birth mother. OK, so we also have to write a letter to the little boy that will be coming into our home, but that's not hard. It's the birth mother letter that is hard. I have no idea what to write in that letter. I know the history of how the child came in to state care and, like my other boys, it's not a pretty story. So, what do we say in the letter? I know that this is just another step in the process...a piece of paper for the file....but still. I honestly have no idea what to write. I have "Dear birth mother" and that's it.
Anyone got any ideas? (other than to lie through my teeth, which is what my husband suggested..lol)

He didn't listen

2010-03-05T15:47:00.003-06:00

Several months ago, there was an incident within my husband's unit(Army) involving the word "retarded". OK, there was more than one incident. My husband explains over and over to people why calling someone a "retard" is offensive to him. People have responded very well to Robert's quiet way of pointing this out. I've been very impressed with how the soldiers around us respond once they realize that they need to stop and think about what they're saying. In typical fashion, the guys in the kennels even took it one step further and came up with "replacement words" to use in replace of "retarded" and "retard"....words that wouldn't hurt or offend anyone. Some of them are quite ridiculous, some of them are funny......but it points out that they ARE thinking about what they are saying and they ARE aware that words CAN hurt. Robert's stand on the word "retard" actually ended up causing a really good conversation about other words that might offend people in the unit(like "fag"...that's another big one that should NOT be used).

Before I continue this story, let me stop right here and point out, for those of you not familiar with the Army, that regardless of what personal opinion is on a subject, a soldier can NOT use words or phrases that are offensive to other people in the unit. I could give you all the reasons and regulations on the topic, but that's not what this post is about. Just know that it's called an EO complaint when it happens....and soldiers, particularly those in leadership positions, can end up in a world of hurt because of an EO complaint(which can also include sexual harassment, crude jokes and all kinds of other stuff).

Now, back to the story...........
A few months ago, Robert's 1SGT decided that "retarded" and "retard" were two of his new favorite words. He is one of those types of people that thinks that if he verbally abuses someone, that somehow ups moral and motivates people to do their best. Anyway, I digress. So, this 1SGT suddenly decided that a great way to degrade someone was to call them retarded.
The way that he uses the word is, without a doubt,
offensive, hurtful and degrading.
What makes this even worse is that it was not my husband that first told me about the 1SGT. It was another soldier in the company that was very concerned about what was being said. This young soldier actually said to me that when he heard the 1SGT calling people that, he thought about Grifyn...and it made him angry.
Can you see why I couldn't just let this go???????

I asked Robert about this...asked him what was being said at formations and I discovered that it had gotten worse than I thought. The 1SGT was also doing this in staff meetings...with Robert sitting right there at the table....KNOWING that we have children with Down syndrome.
Robert went on to tell me that at the last meeting, the 1SGT had called someone a "F'n retard(but he actually said the profanity in front of it) and the whole table of soldiers looked at Robert.
Now, we are NOT the only family in Robert's unit that has children with disabilities...children that are, by definition, mentally retarded. Robert just happens to be the one who took a stand on this issue. Anyway....
At this point, Robert and I decided to try to do the right thing. Could Robert have filed an EO complaint? Yes, he could have. But for us, we want to educate people about why using those words in a derogatory way is offensive. An EO complaint would have worked....very effectively...in shutting the 1SGT up(or having him relieved of duty if he didn't stop). But, it wouldn't have explained WHY to him. And trust me when I say that this man....he needs to be taught the why.

So, instead, I....me....the wife....went to talk to the 1SGT.
I was VERY respectful.
I gave him way more respect than he gives the soldiers under him.
I spoke to him privately instead of in front of the Commander.
I explained to him what he was doing.
I told him why what he was doing was offensive.
I pointed out to him how Robert had quietly worked to change the perception of the entire company of soldiers...and pointed out to him ways that the entire unit was now making an effort not to use these phrases.
I told him that it was another soldier, and not my husband, who came to me concerned about this issue....and that, in and of itself, was proof that he'd crossed a line that was inappropriate.
I again, polietly pointed out him that what he was saying was offensive...to more than one soldier.....and that it was also degrading and insulting and highly inappropriate.
I even went so far as to tell him that he could slap Robert across the face and that was less disrespectful than what was coming out of his mouth.
We talked for about 15 minutes.
His mouth was hanging open in shock while I talked.
I ended my request by very respectfully asked him to please refrain from degrading soldiers at the expense of my children.
He assured me that he was not that kind of man.
He apologised...several times.
He said that he understood.
He said that he realized that he should not be using those words.
He again asked me to believe that he was not that kind of man.
He said that he would stop.
I thanked him and I left.

Unfortunately,
the man didn't listen to a word I said.
Or, maybe he did listen and just decided he didn't care.
Whatever the case may be,
the 1SGT is continuing to call people "retarded" right in the middle of formations, in staff meetings and just in day to day conversations (he yells a lot) with soldiers.
He didn't listen.
Because of this, Robert has now had to take a stand.
On Friday, Robert filed an unofficial EO complaint against his 1SGT.
Robert was still nice about it.
He did the "unofficial" complaint.
That means that at this point, the 1SGT will be officially warned
without it going in his permanent Army record.
The EO officer was shocked when Robert made the report.
He was really shocked when Robert told him that I had already spoken to the 1SGT personally.
Even the EO guy said
the 1SGT really should've listened.
So, here we are.
Yes, filing an EO complaint is anonymous.
But, I have no qualms about blogging publicly about this because:
1.) My husband will freely admit to the 1SGT's face that he is the one that filed the complaint(though it should really be obvious to the man at this point).
2.) This IS an issue that we will take a stand on. It IS an issue that needs to be addressed amongst the leadership in the Army. The abuse of this word needs to STOP.
3.) If it happens again, my next words to the 1SGT won't be quite so nice and polite.

I really wish the man would've listened.
What his actions show at this point is that lied.
He is that kind of man
and that kind of man needs to be stopped.

These are MY CHILDREN and they deserve respect too!

LOVE these...Adoption Bug!

2010-03-03T06:44:00.000-06:00

I LOVE T-shirts. Anyone that knows me well knows that you are going to find me wearing a t-shirt at least 5 days out of 7 (yes, even in the winter...I just throw a pull-over on over them in the winter). So, I am always on the look out for new T-shirts.
I was so excited to find ADOPTION BUG!
They sell adoption related T-shirts AND any adopting family can set up a fundraiser using t-shirts from their site or t-shirts that you design yourself. I love, love, love this idea! I quickly looked through all the family fundraising pages. I've been on a mission lately to try to support other adopting families by purchasing fundraising products if it's something that I'm going to buy anyway. And, since I knew I was going to be buying some new t-shirts, Adoption Bug was a great place to start!

Here's what came in the mail today:

This shirt says faith, hope and love in BULGARIAN. I purchased this shirt in support of
The Santor family and their Adoption Bug fundraiser page that can be found here. I also purchased a praise and worship CD from the Santor family off their blog :)

Then, I got the idea that if I had a shirt in BULGARIAN, I needed one to represent my other darlings from Eastern Europe as well. So, because I really, really (REALLY) like this brown shirt, I also bought one to represent my favorite Ukrainian. Now, I chose a design in RUSSIAN, because Xander is from a tiny little town in Ukraine that is very close to the boarder of Russia and folks in his birth city speak Russian and not Ukrainian. So, I bought this...

I chose to support the Beck family with this purchase. I don't know them, but they are the family I chose to support because they are adopting a little girl who is deaf and blind. even though I don't know them nor the little girl they hope to adopt, I do know that the little girl has no future in Russia and is destined to a life in an institution if she's not adopted.
This family has the brown shirt written in Ukrainian for those of you who adopted a child from an area of Ukraine that actually speaks Ukrainian :)

Now, I need to mention two things here:
1.) If you order multiple shirts from multiple fundraising pages on this website, you need to indicate which families you are supporting in the comment section of paypal. I learned that lesson the hard way :) The people at Adoption Bug are very nice though and they did email me to ensure that the families I wanted to support received credit for my order.

2.) Adoption Bug does not currently have my favorite T-shirt in SERBIAN. I did ask about this however. I was told that if a family that is adopting from Serbia wants to do a fundraiser, they will create one. So....ummmm....I need a family adopting from Serbia to make a fundraising page and put this brown shirt...in Serbian...on their page!!! I will order two t-shirts from you because now I have decided that I love these so much that each of my boys are getting one too :) Now, who's adopting from Serbia that's willing to help a girl (and her very cute Serbian son) out???????? (I actually do know people adopting from Serbia right now and I will be hitting them up after this blog post ;)

OK, OK....so now that I have shared my latest online shopping with all of you (all for a good cause, right?), go to Adoption Bug and order a shirt or two of your own! Oh, and I should also mention that the shirts are so cute when they arrive! They are rolled up, tied with a pretty white bow and a thank you card from Adoption Bug attached.

PS: When I order the boys shirts, I'm also ordering this for Robert:
I'm going to order this one from Jeremiah's family, who are currently working very hard to get the travel money that they need to bring their little guy home from Taiwan.
(good thing Robert never checks the blog since I want this to be a surprise!)

"the look"...and the reality of it's blessing

2010-03-02T11:46:00.000-06:00

A parent of a child with Autism made a comment once that really stuck with me. She said that at least, for children with Ds, they had facial features to identify their difference. I was not offended by this because she went on to explain how people didn't understand when her son had a melt-down or a sensory episode or whatever because he looks "typical". People just assumed that he was misbehaving, that she was a bad parent or whatever.
I didn't give much thought to what she said until last night.
Last night, I was in Wal-Mart with my girls. When we walked in, I immediately noticed a mom and her son in the produce section. In the brief 30 seconds it took to walk by them, I quickly assessed that he was in the midst of a melt down and from his body language, what he was saying(he was talking very loud so it was easy to hear) and the way the mom was responding, it was easy for me to see the signs of Autism. But, this little boy looked "typical". So, while I....a mom to a child with Autism....could easily spot the signs, those around me could not. By the time we walked to the back of the store to get milk and back to the front of the store to get bread and apples, I could hear the child from 3 aisles away. He was in full melt down....and he could easily be heard across the store. What I wasn't prepared for was what I saw when I came to the front of the store. By this time, the mom and her son was in the check-out line. She had somehow got him into a shopping cart(he was probably about 8-10 years old). There was a crowd of people....people in the check-out line, people who were coming in to the store and people who were shopping that just stopped to stare....they had formed a wide semi-circle around this mom and her son. This child was raging. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and the things coming out of his mouth were horrible. He was hitting his mom, hitting himself and mom was clearly trying to just contain him and get out of the store. She got done checking out and pushed the cart...with the still raging child inside...out the door.
Then it hit me.
I listed as the people standing there.....none of whom offered this woman any help....started talking. Immediately, judgement was passed on this mother. I heard things like: "horrible mother", "my kid wouldn't do that", "she should've beat his a** and he wouldn't act like that" and on and on and on. People ASSUMED that what they had witnessed was a mother with no parenting skills. They ASSUMED that they were witnessing a spoiled brat of a child that was just mad because he didn't get his way. They made all these assumption...and blamed the mom...because the child looked "typical".
My first reaction was to tell all 50 people standing there exactly what they could do with their assumptions. I didn't. Why? Because a part of me was standing there thinking that in a few years, I could be that mom.....with an Autistic child that's almost as big as me and twice as strong. But then it hit me: People might not make those assumptions about Xander.....because Xander doesn't look "typical". Xander has all the facial features that tell people that something is "different" about him....even if they aren't familiar with Down syndrome. Even now, people react differently to Xander's episodes. Why? I really believe that part of it is because Xander looks different. He has a clear, defining "look" that tells people that he "can't help it" (not true...but again, people ASSUME).
I was almost in tears as I stood in the middle of Wal-Mart praying that my girls wouldn't ask me about that little boy because I knew I was way to emotional in that moment to talk to them about it. As we walked to the check-out line and got behind a mother and son, I looked up. In front of me in line was a mother and her teen-age son.....who has Down syndrome. I seriously had to hold back the tears as I watched them....as I watched the cashier be patient with the boy and talk to him as he loaded the groceries in the cart. Down syndrome is easily identifiable and most people stop and take more time to help our kiddos because they have the "look" that tells people that they are different. Children with Autism often don't have that. They are judged more harshly because of it. Standing in Wal-Mart, I understood exactly what that mother was saying when she said that we were blessed with Xander's looks.
There are many times that I wonder what Xander is going to be like in 5 years. I wonder if my parenting skills will be judged harshly because of the Autism or if people will be more tolerant because his looks clearly show that he is different. I wonder if people will shy away from him in judgement....or be compelled to help him because he "looks" different.

lots going on around here

2010-03-01T16:31:00.002-06:00

There is so much going on around here and I have a million things that I need to blog about.
Hang on for the randomness........
There are a few things that I can't talk about on the blog right now
and those are the issues that dominate most of my thoughts right now.
So, sorry for the lack of blogging.

We have to complete the big, complicated looking diagram about our family for our
foster care training class tomorrow. Since we procrastinate, we'll be doing that tonight!

I had a massive headache for 3 days(all weekend). I have no idea what's causing the headaches, but they are coming more often. My headache meds are not working.
My husband says it's stress. He says I worry too much about everything. He's probably right.
There is no point in going to the doctor though.
Military medicine....
they just hand you another prescription and send you on your way.
Either that, or the psycho nurse I have to see tells me for the 50 millionth time
that I "must be" depressed
because I have children with Down syndrome.
I wanted to punch her in the face the last time she said that to me.
Of course, that would not have helped my case of proving that I am
mentally stable.
But still.

I'm selling items in a huge consignment sale on March 12th. I have to get everything on hangers and priced this week. I'm probably not going to consign as much at this sale as I did at the one in the fall. But, I do have a good bit of items that should sell and we can always use the money. If you're local, make sure to come to the Midnight Madness Sale on the 12th. I'll be working that shift! Last fall, the midnight madness sale looked like Black Friday. It was crazy!

I have videos that I want to share on the blog but my husband took my video converting software off my computer :(
Maybe I can get him to put it back on this week so I can show ya'll Grifyn reading and Xander spinning in his swing.

Speaking of Grifyn reading:
The kindergartners all were tested on their reading ability in January. Grifyn missed making the "goal for all kindergartners" by just a few points in 2 out of the 3 areas. Considering he scored a ZERO in one of these areas in August, he is doing great!
(not to mention the fact that he's been hearing English for only 2 of his 6+ years of life)
He could actually score a lot higher on the test if it wasn't timed. But, whatever. In the grand scheme of things, the test doesn't matter. But, I was glad that he was able to participate and that he didn't just shut down and act silly during testing.

We have to make a decision soon about school placement for our boys for next year. I have to go observe at a couple of different schools and various settings. I am NOT looking forward to making this decision. I wish God would just put a big flashing neon sign over the placement that will be the best for my boys. I wish I could just know...with 100% certainty...that what we are thinking about doing is the right choice.
Man, if only it were that easy!
To add to that worry, I do have to keep in mind that we may well have FOUR boys to make decisions for in regards to placement. I still haven't decided if we will put Kullen in school next year or keep him home for a year like we did for Grifyn and Xander. I'm not making that decision yet, but I do need to visit placement options for him too....just in case.
Then, there is the boy that we'll be providing care for. I don't even know what grade he's in! So, I have to find that out too so that I can visit placement options for him as well.
I'm REALLY procrastinating on these school visits.
I'm so worried about making this decision.
Robert is absolutely no help. His default answer is:
"You're the teacher. You should know what's best. I'll go along with whatever you decide."
NOT helping, honey!

I have been thinking a lot in the last couple of weeks about wanting to blog about some tougher issues....some "real" things that we face with our family.
This thought process has been prompted because of some things going on right now
that I can't share just yet.
Then, also, if we take the child here in foster care into our home, I can't share his name/photo/etc. on a public blog until his adoption is final.
So, I'm thinking about making some changes and password protecting certain posts.
It'd be a way to "keep it real" but still not have some stuff out there for just anyone to see. The majority of the blog will still be public.
I'm still thinking on the best way to do this.

teeth

2010-02-25T09:12:00.002-06:00

I took Xander to the dentist yesterday. We have to drive 90 miles to take Xander to the dentist because that is the closest dentist that will see my boys(because they have Down syndrome). So, needless to say, I am never very excited about a trip to the dentist for the boys because of the long drive. But, Xander needed to go. He had 2 permanent teeth come in on the bottom behind his baby teeth. His baby teeth were not the least bit loose. This is, apparently, common in children with Down syndrome. The dentist said that it is possible that we will end up having to have a majority of Xander's baby teeth pulled because of this. We shall see.

Xander was PERFECT at the dentist's office. He sat up in the chair like a big boy and let the hygienist clean his teeth. When she was done, he smiled real big at her and pointed to her bright pink gloves. So, she gave him one of his own. I commented that he was not going to leave it on his hand because he hates things on his hands. Of course, he made a liar out of me! After a few minutes, he pointed at her again and held out his other hand! He wore those bright pink gloves the whole rest of the time we were there! After the cleaning, Xander was moved to a private room to have the teeth pulled. Again, he was PERFECT. He sat in the chair, wore the gas mask on his nose, opened his mouth when he was told and he didn't even flinch when they numbed his mouth with the needle! The kid actually LAUGHED when the dentist pulled the first tooth out!
Really, this shouldn't surprise me. Xander's mouth is one of his "pressure points" for stimming. So, having people push on his mouth is probably quite heavenly for him. I explained this to the dentist....who was amazed at how cooperative Xander was.

Once we were done, I had a wonderful opportunity to share with the dentist about kids with a dual diagnosis (Ds and ASD). The dentist told me that he loved working with children with special needs and did part of his residency in dental school at a facility for children with special needs. But, he'd never met...nor heard of....a child with both Down syndrome and Autism. So, he was intrigued by Xander. He was a nice man and he asked a lot of good questions. I was happy to share with him and glad to know that he was genuinely interested in learning all about children with special needs and how their needs will effect their experience at the dentist. We talked about kids who are sensitive to touch (as a lot of children with ASD are) and about kids who are sensitive to noise (like Xander...the only thing Xander did not like at the dentist was the air suction machine because it was loud. He jumped when the hygienist cut it on and I instantly told her why, so she didn't use it) and even kids who have real problems with textures and tastes (ie: the numbing meds, cleaning stuff, etc). It's nice to know that the dentist cared enough to ask how we deal with things in our every day life. I could tell that he was really taking it all in and maybe some of what I told him will help him to help another child to have a more positive experience at the dentist.

And, just to prove how common the whole situation with getting permanent teeth in while still having baby teeth is: Kullen actually had the exact same issue going on when I was in Bulgaria. Same teeth and everything. His baby teeth were loose though. He was actually going to the dentist the afternoon that I left.
And, further proof .........
As I went to brush Grifyn's teeth this morning, I noticed that last night while he slept, his 2 bottom front permanent teeth pushed through his gums and are now visible behind his baby teeth! Again, it's the EXACT SAME teeth and Grifyn's baby teeth are not the least bit loose. I'm going to call the dentist today and find out how long we should wait before taking Grifyn in.
I sure wish Grifyn's teeth would have came in on Monday or Tuesday BEFORE I drove the 90 miles to take Xander to the dentist....so that he could have went yesterday too! Oh well.

Substitute parent?

2010-02-22T19:49:00.002-06:00

We are slowly working through the foster care training required by our state. We've actually shifted our focus a little in this. The boy that we had originally hoped to foster is now actually legally free for adoption. So, he will come to our house as an adoption placement instead of a foster care placement. There is still a "trial period" (for lack of a better word) for him and our family. We are cautiously optimistic about it. We have been given a lot of information to prepare us for what he may have experienced in his current environment and we are really trying to adjust our expectations accordingly. Well, actually, we're trying to not have any "expectations"...we're just trying to be prepared for whatever needs the child may have and the best ways to help him acclimate to our family.

Anyway........
......as we're working through the "training" books that were given to us, I came across something that really caught me off guard. According to this training material, adopting families should tell the child that that they are adopting that they will have substitute parents.
This actually says that adoptive parents should present themselves as substitutes.
This is the word that was used.
I don't like that terminology. Not at all.
Maybe I misunderstood this section of the "training".
But, I really don't like this way of thinking.
The word substitute means a stand in.
We are not a "stand in" for our boys.
We ARE the parents.

So, this book goes on to say that adopting parents must explain their "role" to the child that they are adopting. Here's the explanation:
"It is my responsibility as your substitute parent to prepare you for adulthood by providing basic necessities, nurture, guidance, and protection from harm."
Ummmm......
maybe I am just reading way to much into this, but I don't like this.
Not at all.
Seriously? This is what kids are told adoption means?
This is what prospective parents are told?
That they should think of themselves
as a stand in?????

This is one area where I am going to strongly disagree with the US foster/adoption system.

This probably bothers me way more than it should.
It's like the whole, "Which ones are yours?" question.
They are ALL mine!
They are my children and I am their mother.
They are not any less "mine" than the children that came from my body....
and I am not any less their mother.
We are not stand ins.
We are the parents.

Chrissie

2010-02-21T09:50:00.004-06:00

Meet Chrissie.
She is another precious little one that came home from Serbia.
I had the honor of assisting her family in their adoption process and I was so very excited when they stepped forward to adopt this little girl.
While Chrissie looks amazingly healthy in this photo, she actually has a very serious and very complex heart condition.
Her condition is so complex that she really shouldn't even be alive.
But, do you see that photo?
She is alive and thriving in her new family.
Now, she needs her heart fixed.
Tomorrow, Monday February 22nd, Chrissie will undergo surgery to repair her heart.
It is a very complex surgery and I can't even begin to understand everything that needs to be done to fix this precious little girl's heart.
But, her family has ensured that she's in the hands of some wonderful and capable doctors.
More than that, they have given her care and her life over to The Father and Great Physician
and they have asked that everyone cover sweet Chrissie in prayers tomorrow.

Please join me in praying for Chrissie.
Pray that the Lord will give her little body the strength it needs to survive the surgery and to heal from the extensive repairs.
Pray that her heart will react as expected to the repairs and that it will soon beat strong and healthy, for the first time in Chrissie's life.
Pray for the doctors that will be preforming the surgery...that God will guide their hands and provide them with the knowledge that they need to fix Chrissie's heart.
And pray for mom and dad as they wait in the waiting room.
They are handing their little girl over tomorrow knowing that this is what needs to be done in order for her to live.
But, that doesn't make it any less scary or any less risky.
I am thankful for their obedience to God in bringing this little girl home knowing that the road they were walking would lead to tomorrow.
We're praying for the day that they once again post photos of this spunky little girl smiling and thriving.....this time, with a healthy functioning heart.

If you'd like to send your well wishes to the family or see more photos of Miss Chrissie, please visit their blog by clicking here.

lesson learned

2010-02-19T16:09:00.002-06:00

My wonderful head-strong 4 year old constantly looks for ways to test my patients. Lately, she has been purposefully seeking out any and every situation that she can use to cause a power struggle. My job is to NOT rise to the occasion. It's not always easy. This child instinctively knows how to push all my buttons. I can't even imagine how much worse she's going to get when she becomes a teenager. It's a frightening thought!
Lately, the attempted power struggle has been clothes. She has to wear skirts or dresses to school...that's the dress code. She has some very cute long skirts and dresses that come to her ankles....all very appropriate for winter time. Zoie has decided that she doesn't like long dresses and she absolutely can not stand(her words) long skirts. She insists on wearing short summer time skirts and dresses to school instead. Since the only time she's outside is to get from the house to the car and the car to the school, I have made a great effort to not let this issue become a power struggle. Zoie is well aware that it is cold outside. She's just looking for something that she can control. And quite honestly, I think she really does like to try to push my buttons for a reaction....especially in the mornings before school! So, I have resorted to packing a jacket in her back pack and telling her that if she wants to freeze, then so be it. It's her choice. I did make sure to tell everyone at school about this power struggle so that they would know that I do know how to dress my children appropriately for the weather! The staff at the school just laugh. They know Zoie well and understand what we're trying to do. They did tell me yesterday that Zoie announced to the teacher that she was wearing short sleeves because she thinks long sleeves are "horrible" and she likes being cold. *sigh* Did I mention she's a little head-strong? Ok, that doesn't do her justice. She's stubborn....plain and simple.
This week, Zoie also decided that she wanted to switch lunch boxes. She has two different ones and I honestly don't care which one she carries to school. I try to give the kids the freedom to make choices with things that don't really have any importance....and which lunch box they carry to school falls into that category. Well.......then we get to this morning.......
On Fridays, Zoie eats lunch at school (the order pizza on Fridays). So, she only has to take her 2 snacks...one for the morning and one for the afternoon. We pull up to the school (she's the first of my 3 stops and we were already running late today) and Zoie doesn't have her lunch box. I ask her where it is and she says that she left it at home. Why? because she decided she didn't want that lunch box today. We then had a conversation about why she didn't just swap lunch boxes (she didn't want to), why she didn't ask me to pack her snacks in the other lunch box (she didn't want to) and finally, did she realize that because of her choice, she would now not have a snack at school today (she said yes and that she didn't care). So, I went in to the school and explained what happened to the teacher. She laughed, said "that's our Zoie" and assured me that she'd make Zoie sit there while everyone else ate snack....and then offer Zoie something small when the other kids were done. I just wanted them to do something to get the point across to Zoie that her choice had consequences. Apparently, it worked!
Zoie came home from school today and told me that she would not be leaving her lunch box at home on purpose anymore.
That's my girl.
She'll learn.
But, she's going to do it the hard way every time!

for Zhora

2010-02-18T10:40:00.002-06:00

Fr a variety of reasons, there are certain children listed on Reece's Rainbow that have a special place in my heart. I need to do a post highlighting them all one day (they're all in an album on my facebook page already).
One of those kids is Zhora. This little boy is my absolute favorite kid from his birth country. He's the one that as I scan the web page, I always come back to his photo. He's the one that just tugs at my heart in a way that is hard to explain. I KNOW that he has a mommy out there that God has planned just for him. I PRAY that she is listening to God's call and that she will feel His tug on her heart and will step out and bring him home.
Lisa is an online friend of mine who also has a very special place in her heart for Zhora. Zhora looks remarkably like Lisa's son (seriously, it's amazing how much they look alike). Lisa is not in a position where her family can qualify to adopt from Zhora's country.....but that hasn't stopped her from advocating for this little boy. She hosted a fundraiser for him back before Christmas and gave away an iTouch to raise money for Zhora's grant fund. Now, she's doing it AGAIN. She is sharing his photo, raising awareness and doing everything that she can do to help this little guy to find a family of his own.
Right now, Zhora has over $2,000 in his grant fund. Every penny of that is to be used to cover expenses related to his adoption. Lisa is currently giving away another brand new iTouch to one lucky family that donates to Zhora's adoption fund. Renee is hosting the fundraiser on her blog. If you'd love to have your very own brand new iTouch, then please consider donating to this fundraiser. More importantly, please consider being a small part in helping this little boy to find the mommy that God has planned just for him. All donations are tax deductible and all the money goes directly to Zhora's adoption fund.
Click the button, donate, spread the word......it's all for ZHORA!

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Sensory Diet

2010-02-17T09:32:00.004-06:00

I was asked recently to share more about how Autism effects Xander and in turn, our family in general. I've thought a lot about this because I do want to accurately share the impact that Autism has on Xander's development and his life in general(and again, our entire family too). I thought that the best subject to talk about first is Xander's sensory diet. This is the primary thing that we do for Xander on a day to day basis that is directly related to Autism. When we took Xander to the developmental pediatrician to discuss Autism, we discussed medications, special diets(meaning, food diets) and all types of alternative treatment options that are out there and being tried by families of children with Autism. Our developmental ped. gave me some advice that made a whole lot of sense. What he basically said was that medication might work, a food diet might work, an intensive therapy program might work.....but if we do all that "extreme" stuff FIRST, how will we ever know if something less evasive might work just as well. He went on to say that if we use medication or food or whatever and Xander makes progress, we would give credit to the medicine or the food,etc. But, what if Xander is capable of making progress on his own, without all of that? We would have no way of knowing that if we didn't start with the simple, less evasive, stuff first. Now, do not misunderstand me. I have no issue with people who choose medication, special diets, alternative treatments, intensive therapy, vitamins, etc for their children. It is all a personal choice and everyone does what they feel is best for their child. For us, we wanted to start with the least evasive stuff first and then go from there.

Xander's daily routine consists of an individualized sensory diet. Since Xander has such extreme sensory needs, we have chosen to focus on that as a primary way to decrease stimming & negative behaviors while increasing speech, appropriate behaviors and interactions. I must admit that I was skeptical at first that this would work. But, let me just say straight up that I was wrong! This has been THE BEST thing we have ever done for Xander! Basically, what we did was to note Xander's specific sensory needs. We did that by observing him, documenting things that caused him to go into an "extensive stim", documenting things that caused him to have melt downs, document what was happening when he started the self-injurious behaviors and finally, documenting what activities, times of day, etc he seemed to take the most pleasure in...what made him happy. The biggest challenge with Xander (and I've heard this from other parents who have children with Autism too) is that he is not motivated by things that naturally motivate other children. He is just not interested in what is going on around him most of the time. So, it becomes a challenge to get him engaged and in "learning mode". It's also very hard to assess what he actually knows because he won't "show what he knows" unless HE wants to do it....and certainly not on demand.

Based on all the data collection that we did, we determined that Xander "feeds" off of deep pressure and firm touch. This creates a lot of problems day to day because it does cause a lot of negative behaviors and becomes a safety issue. So, we needed a way to "feed" that in a positive way (do you see where the term "diet" comes in?) Xander also has an obsession with water. It is one of the strangest things I've ever seen. He seriously can not focus on anything else if he can hear water running or can see water. These two issues combine into another area.....he LOVES running water to hit his skin (the water and pressure combined). So, we need a way to "feed" both of those needs in a positive way. Finally, Xander has needs related to his equilibrium (is that the right word?). He enjoys swinging and spinning. He does not get dizzy or overstimulated. These activities actually calm him down and help him focus. We needed a way to "feed" that need as well. ALL of these things combined "fed" into Xander self-injurious behavior, his desire to withdraw from situations and people, his inability to focus on tasks and his communication. From all of this information, we created Xander's "sensory diet".
It's really much easier than it sounds. One thing is Xander's diet is the shower. We have an enclosed glass shower. Xander sits in the bottom of the shower with the water on and lets the water hit his skin. He will lay under the water, sit with it hitting his back or sometimes sit beside the water flow and hold his hand under it. He also holds a cup under the water and then pours it on his skin. He will, literally, stay in the shower for an hour at a time if we let him. This relaxes him in a way that I can't even begin to explain. We've also installed an indoor swing in our house. That is by far THE BEST money we have ever spent. It hangs in the door way between our living room and the play room. So, Xander can be in his swing and still a part of the whatever the family is doing. He is getting creative with his swing. He now lays across it on his stomach and spins and spins. He can hold his feet up, arch his body and do all kinds of things to get it to go faster or slower, depending on his mood. Since introducing the swing into Xander's "diet" we have seen a HUGE increase in his speech, his focus and his desire to engage in activities and contact with other people. He even focuses on the TV now. It has been nothing short of amazing. The final part of Xander's "diet" is the pressure. We do some brushing therapy with him. But, mostly, we now just do deep pressure massages, pressure hugs and things like that. If he gets extremely agitated or starts with the self-injurious behaviors, we use deep compressions, firm back rubs and things like that along with a calm voice to redirect. This too has been very effective in making Xander more aware of his body. When he does the self-aggression(meaning: hitting himself, biting himself, etc) he really has to be made to focus on what he's doing and redirected very specifically on how to stop. Another great piece of advice the developmental ped. gave us was to remember that with sensory stuff, we can't just work to eliminate behaviors. Xander WILL find something else to replace the sensory need with. So, our job is to give him an appropriate and safe way to "feed the sensory need". That is the basic idea behind the "sensory diet" and the motivation behind doing it.....to feed the need in a safe and more appropriate manner that allows Xander to control his body and function in his environment in a safe and appropriate way.

As I mentioned above, we've seen HUGE improvements in Xander since we started this. His behaviors are MUCH more manageable now. The self-aggression has drastically reduced. Many of the inappropriate behaviors have also been drastically reduced and some have stopped completely. He engages with other people and his environment more and he is making a much bigger effort to communicate. The newest wonderful thing that he does is that he will grab my face and turn it so that I am making eye contact with him. This may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it is HUGE for Xander to want to make eye contact! It's quite funny how he does it and when you do look at him, he opens his eyes really wide. He's clearly been paying attention all those times in the past when I've been trying to get him to make eye contact. Don't misunderstand me: Xander still struggles with issues related to Autism. He still has behavior issues, he still has communication issues, he still has excessive stimming at times and he still struggles with self-aggression. But, it is no where near as extreme or as frequent as it was just a few months ago.

The only problem we've had with all of this so far is trying to effectively implement something at school to meet Xander's sensory needs. That's still a work in progress and we do have a great school district that works with us on things.

We know that helping Xander to manage the Autism is an ongoing work in progress. As he grows and develops, his needs may change. We may one day need to go the route of more evasive treatment options. But for now, the sensory diet is working wonderfully and we're so very thankful for that!

Snow ball fight 2010

2010-02-15T20:37:00.005-06:00

It all started with this........

....then she threw it at Robert.........

......who shamelessly hid behind Xander.........

....until he started getting attacked from all sides(then mommy made him stop using Xander as a shield!)........

.......so he ran out in to the yard to defend himself.......

.....and Olivia enlisted help from her brother......

.....a brother who really couldn't figure out what the big deal was with the white balls.....

......soon the kids were running away from the onslaught of snowballs......

.....and then Olivia got caught........

..........after Olivia laughingly endured a handful of snow to the face, mommy declared that since she was such a good sport, she could smash snow in Robert's face and he'd have to just stand there and take it......

I'd say that this is a sign of defeat......

.....and the grin of the snowball fight champion......

Now, the snow can go away and stay gone for another several years. Bring on the warm weather of spring!!!!!

Strep throat :(

2010-02-14T15:00:00.003-06:00

Xander and Grifyn have had snotty noses for a few days now. There's nothing unusual with that considering how crazy our weather has been lately. But,we always watch them closely since they both have a very high pain tolerance and neither will tell us if something hurts. On Friday, Zoie started complaining that her throat hurt. By the end of the day, she was running a fever. So, we headed off to the doctor's office on Saturday (I love that our pediatrician's office is open for sick visits on Saturday and Sunday). The rapid strep test came back negative, but the doctor did say that both boys appeared to be developing nasty sinus infections. A 10 day antibiotic was prescribed for each of them. Since the rapid strep test was negative, the doc just prescribed a really strong prescription cough medicine for Zoie and said that perhaps the fever was just something viral. Today, the nurse called to say that the step culture now shows strep throat....for GRIFYN! Since we already started him on an antibiotic yesterday, we'll continue with that treatment. Xander is covered too with his antibiotic. However, ZOIE, the kid that is actually complaining with her throat, is not an an antibiotic and they said that her culture is negative. So, the kid who actually has a sore throat does not have strep. Oh, and did I mention that Robert woke up this morning complaining that his throat "feels funny"? *sigh*
In the grand scheme of things, I really can't complain. No one is actually acting sick today. The kids are all playing, no one has a fever and everyone is in good spirits. It could be a lot worse. Still, I know how hard strep is to get rid of once it starts getting passed around in a family. Part of me wishes that the doctor would just put the girls on antibiotics so that we could knock this mess out quickly. The other part of me understands them not wanting to medicate the kids when it's not necessary just yet.

Oh, and while we were at the doctor's office, all the kids got on the scales. Here is how they weighed in:
Xander tipped the scales weighing the most (of course he does, since he doesn't walk and we have to carry his hefty butt around!). Xander weighed 43 pounds. We're going to have to start monitoring his weight closely. He has so many risks for becoming overweight. He's gained 3 pounds since his check-up in August. That may not seem like a lot. But, for a kid that doesn't walk, trust me...it is a lot!
Olivia (who is almost 8 years old) weighed 42 pounds. She was so excited to now be well over the 40 pound mark.
Grifyn weighed 38 pounds. He's actually lost 2 pounds since his last check-up in August. I have no idea why he's lost weight. He eats like a little pig! But, he is getting taller and has lost all the "baby fat". So, I'm sure that all has something to do with it. But, trust me when I say that this boy eats well!
Zoie weighed 36 pounds. She's 4.5 years old and tall for her age. She was NOT happy that everyone else weighed more than her..lol. But, we assured her that as the youngest, she should weigh the least and that reasoning seemed to work for her.

In the snow

2010-02-13T15:25:00.003-06:00

Here are a few photos of the kids playing in the snow.
Pics of the snow ball fight coming soon.......

(Xander is actually sitting on a big rock, not the ground)

This one was later in the day after the snow stopped falling:

SNOW!

2010-02-12T21:24:00.004-06:00

Snow is a rare sight down here. So, the kids were thrilled when the weather man was right and the snow was falling freely all day long today. Thankfully, it rained last night. So, it prevented too much accumulation. Still we got a little over 3 inches! Roads are closed county wide tonight. Our town is not equipt to deal with snow. So, we just stay inside!

Here are some photos of just the snow. I have tons of the kids. I'm going to go through them all and will get a post together tomorrow. Tonight, I just wanted to share that
WE GOT SNOW!!!

When the snow started this morning:

Our back yard steps before the kids:

and after the kids:

This is one of my favorite photos of the day. This is Olivia's snow angel.
Look closely. Do you see the angel?????

Photos of the kids coming soon!

Jasper

2010-02-08T18:32:00.002-06:00

Here are a few photos of Jasper:

He's fit right in around here and I suppose that he's now a permanent member of the family.
The kids are starting to really enjoy him. There are many times when I find myself wishing that I had a camera close by to record the interactions between the kids and the dog. One of those times was last night when Grifyn was laughing hysterically and I look up to see Jasper dragging him across the hard wood floor by the end of his footie pjs! My first instinct was to tell Jasper no and to let Grifyn go. Then, I watched as Grifyn held his foot back out, giggled and said, "go!". He again collapsed into a fit of giggles when Jasper grabbed his pjs and started dragging him across the floor. Boys and their dogs!!! Xander is also enjoying having Jasper around. As I type this, they are both in the floor at my feet playing tug of war with Jasper's toy. As soon as Jasper lets it go, Xander picks it up and throws it across the room. He thinks it's so funny when Jasper goes chasing after it! Jasper is very good with Xander. That was my biggest worry when we first brought Jasper in to our home...since Xander is the one that's always on the floor. But, Jasper has even adapted to Xander's swing. He will sit and watch Xander while he's on it....almost like he's guarding him. I can't wait until the weather gets warmer. We're going to teach Xander how to hold on to Jasper's harness and see if we can teach Jasper to help Xander walk. If anything will motivate Xander, it will be the dog!

The other really funny thing about Jasper is that he is as bad as the kids.....if he wants attention from the grown ups, he will let us know! With me, he will drop a toy in my lap and look at me with his best puppy dog eyes look (and he has a good one!). But, this is what he does to Robert:

He actually lays his head down on the keyboard! If that doesn't work, he will start pushing the stool that's holding the laptop until he can wedge his way in between Robert and the computer. It is SO funny!!! He does seem to have a fascination with the computer. During the day(when it's just me and him at home), he will lay in my lap and stare at the computer screen while I type.
He really is a good dog and he's made a nice addition to our family.

Connecting The Rainbow

2010-02-07T12:43:00.005-06:00

Here is the blog button for the Connecting The Rainbow project. Please grab it and put it on your blog to help us raise awareness about this project.

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Be sure to right click on the box below and then select all.

What day is it????? (lots of updates to catch up!)

2010-02-04T20:51:00.003-06:00

Olivia has decided that she wants to take karate classes instead of playing softball. Zoie wants to take karate too. Now, Olivia wants to do this primarily because Jakob does it....and she thinks the kicking is just " so neat". She's very flexible and would probably do really well with karate. I, as the mom, just have a hard time picturing my GIRLS in karate class! Robert, on the other hand, is all for this. Since Olivia is so small for her age, he is all for her learning some self-defense. So, he's been talking to the owner of the local karate school. It's not too terribly expensive and both girls could be in class together. I'm sure that they'd have fun and the owner did say that he really emphasizes manners and self-confidence. Both of those are very good things and I like the thought of my girls doing something that will help them feel more confident about themselves as they grow up. Still, I'm a little hung up on the thought of my DAUGHTERS in karate. But, who knows, they may really love it. And, unlike the softball field, the karate studio is air conditioned. That's important during summer time in South Alabama :)

Olivia will also have a speaking part in a performance that the 2nd grade is doing at the PTA meeting this month. She's very excited about it and we're thrilled that she was chosen for the part. I had a chance to speak to her teacher this week and it was one of those moments where I could have cried because I was so happy at what I was hearing. The teacher actually stopped me to ask me about adoption. Olivia had been telling her about Kullen and *N*(child we hope to foster) and the teacher was curious. Turns out, she has a son that she adopted too :) After the adoption stuff, our conversation turned to Olivia. Her teacher told me that Olivia is so smart and so sweet and.....here it is: The most well rounded, well adjusted child that she has ever had the pleasure of teaching in 16 years as a teacher. She said that she brags about Olivia to the principal and other teachers all the time. Then, she told me that we must be doing something right to be raising so many kids, adopting, having children with disabilities and still managing to mold Olivia into the smart, wonderful little girl that she is. I don't share that to brag on us, I share it to say this: THAT is confirmation of the fruits of our labor. All the prayers, all the worrying that I do to make sure that I get this parenting thing right. Hearing that teacher say such wonderful things about my Olivia makes it all so worth it. I also wanted to point out on other thing: To all those people out there who say that us adopting children with special needs somehow takes away from our other children.....did you read that statement from the teacher....the part about being well-rounded and well-adjusted.

Grifyn has had a rough week at school. We're seeing some new behaviors out of him. It's incredibly frustrating. He does, however, seem to be making more of a connection with direct consequences. He's also getting clever with his behavior chart. His teacher told me this morning that after he got in trouble yesterday, when it was time to color in his behavior chart, he got the red crayon out and smiled at her. Red is for the happy face....ie: good behavior. He tried to flirt his way out of that one! Good problem solving attempt....I just wish he'd use those skills to make better choices all the time. Despite the behavior stuff, he is still moving forward academically. He is so proud when he reads the little readers that he brings home at night. He's learning to look at the pictures when he doesn't know a word and he's getting better with his sight words. We've cut back on working on "school" stuff at home because his teacher was worried that he was getting burnt out and that might be what was causing some of the behavior. I admit that I worry about not doing the sight word drills and such at home. But, I want him to be successful at school and if that means not repeating stuff at home for a while, then so be it. Besides, we have all summer to do sight word drills.....and Kullen will (Lord willing!) be here to do them with him by then!

Xander's newest favorite activity is anything that will get the dog to bark. Yes, the dog is still here. Apparently, he is staying. I need to get some good pictures of him and post them. He really is a pretty dog. He's just BIG! His name is Jasper. Did I share that already? Anyway, Xander loves Jasper. For whatever reason, Xander thinks it is SO funny to make this dog bark. Jasper really is a good dog. He never barks. Well, not unless Xander provokes him. Even then, he does one quick LOUD bark and that's it. He doesn't growl at Xander or anything like that. They're playing. The bark is just LOUD....which is probably why it makes Xander collapse into a fit of giggles. Jasper is very good with Xander. He lets Xander lay over on him, tug on his leg and throw his toys. Xander was my biggest concern when the dog first arrived at our house. So, I'm glad that the two of them can happily co-exist.
And, since I'm talking about Jasper...let me share a little secret. I wanted Kullen to be named Jasper. Well, actually, I wanted to name him Jazper....because ya'll know I like the unique spellings. But, Robert said Jasper sounded too "Texas" (he's from Texas). So, I was over ruled. The more I say that name "Kullen", the more I like it. But, Jasper was really one of my favorites in the whole name debate.

OK, if you're still reading after all of that, I promise to post some new pictures soon! I have horribly neglected my camera lately! I also still have photos from January that haven't made it on to the computer yet.

Foster Care Training: Book Two

2010-02-02T21:05:00.002-06:00

Tonight, we had our first visit with the social worker that is doing our foster care training. We're now moving on to Book Two! Book 2 is Understanding Separation and Loss. In addition to that, we have a lot of paper work to do. Just because we've been down the adoption road (3 times!), we still have to do another formal application requesting a home study, biographies (which I do have saved from the last home study), family history reports, a family "profile", a "profile" on each of our children, and a profile about how our family works. The girls also have to draw a picture of their idea of what our family looks like. It is a LOT of paper work!
Did I mention that this is just week one of all the paper work?

We also have to complete what is called a Strengths and Needs Assessment each week. There are 12 skills that are the focus of foster care/adoption training. Each book in the Deciding Together series focuses on a few of these skills. At the end of each book, we have to list one strength and one need that we have in each skill area.
So, that is the basics of this process that we are going through! Tonight, we introduced the social worker to our family, explained our experience and background with adoption. As expected, we got asked the million dollar question.....How did you end up deciding to adopt children with Down syndrome and what led you to the other side of the world?
Tonight, I got to go on a trip down memory lane. It's funny how vividly I remember the night I was sitting at my mom's computer googling adoption. I remember finding Reece's Rainbow, I remember being in tears and having that complete peace come over me that this was what I'd been looking for. I remember bringing the subject up with Robert the very first time and looking at the first photo that I ever saw of Xander and knowing, without a doubt, that I was looking at my son. As I was explaining all of this to the social worker tonight, Xander crawled in my lap. He snuggled up in my arms and went sound asleep. This is one of only a handful of times that he has ever done that. As I held him in my arms while he slept, I shared with the social worker about the day in Ukraine that profoundly changed my life....the day that God truly broke my heart for the plight of orphans and the day I knew that our time in Ukraine was only the beginning.

Tonight, I looked down at the sleeping child in my arms, I looked across the room at the grinning brown eyed boy that was trying to flirt with the social worker, I looked down at my computer screen where the photo of Kullen shows as my background and I looked at the pile of paper work that is the first step on the journey to offer a home to a child right here in Alabama.
WOW!
just.....
WOW.

I don't know how to convey to a social worker (or anyone else for that matter) that it is us who have received the blessings over the past few years.
I don't know how to explain that while my heart carries an incredible burden for what my eyes have seen in Eastern Europe, I am thankful that God put us on this journey and broke my heart in a way that forces me to act because the needs of orphans can not be ignored.
I have to laugh when I tell people that not very long ago, I was the woman saying "God gave me two hands and I only need two children" and yet, here I am tonight, praying and hoping to be blessed with saying that I am the mother to seven.
WOW

just....
WOW!

little bit of this and that

2010-01-30T20:30:00.006-06:00

I feel like I'm juggling a million different things right now. This has just been one of those weeks. I don't have anything real specific to blog about. Here are some small tidbits of the randomness going on around here:

Xander has figured out how to "escape" out of the harness system on the school bus that he rides 4 days a week (he rides on a different bus on Fridays). The transportation department is now working on finding a new way to keep Xander safely "contained" on the bus. Hopefully, they will have a solution on Monday.

Grifyn's behavior has been very up and down at school this week. There is no pattern or reasoning behind it and that is often frustrating. I will say though that I was SO proud of him on Friday. He had a great day on Friday and he knew it. As soon as he walked in the door after school, he opened his backpack, handed me his folder and yelled "YEA!" Once again, it's proof that he is well aware of his behavior, understands his behavior chart and reinforces what we already know...that he's in control of his behavior and we just have to find a way to convince him that he WANTS attention for POSITIVE behaviors only!

I had to go and pick Olivia up from school early on Friday. She cut her chin with a pair of scissors. It wasn't a bad cut, but it was enough that she was just done with school for the day. So, she spent the afternoon at home with me (and yes, I reminder her of the rules we have about how to safely use a pair of scissors).

We have our first home visit with the social worker that will do our foster care licensing on Tuesday. I'm anxious to get that started so that we can hurry up and get it finished! We received an update on the little guy (ok, so he's not so little!) that we hope to be able to provide foster care for. He's in a not so great situation and my heart is really burdened for his situation right now.

The Reece's Rainbow outreach program, Connecting The Rainbow, has taken off. We've had several donations this week and I am praying that more people will get behind this project and reach out and support families raising children with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe.
This is one of my favorite posters from the Ds group in Bulgaria:
(this is from their awareness campaign)

We have a dog at my house now. "Dog" really doesn't accurately describe this animal. "Small horse" might be a better description. He is living proof of why I should not have important conversations with my husband via text message. You see, my husband sent me a series of text messages with a sad story about this dog that needs a home. He used the word "bull dog" and I envisioned a cute little dog like the University of Georgia mascot. However, the "bull dog" that my husband was talking about was the OTHER breed of bull dog....the small horse variety.
So, this "puppy" (10 months old and 80+ pounds) is now at my house for a "trial period". He's a really good dog. He's very sweet, very well trained (house trained and everything) and he's just beautiful. But, did I mention he's HUGE????? Here he is:
I don't yet know if he's staying here forever. Part of me says that the absolute last thing I need on top of everything else going on is a HUGE dog to take care of. But, the other part of me knows that my K9 handler husband really, really likes this dog and wants to keep him and my kids also really like him too. He IS a good and loving dog. So, who knows! His puppy dog eyes will probably sucker me in. I'm such a wimp!

My computer had issues this week. Well, I think that it happened when I attempted to update my virus detecting software. I, apparently, did something wrong. The result was that we had to save the entire contents of my computer onto an external drive and wipe out the entire computer. I'm very thankful for my husband's computer knowledge in times like those. I also realized that I have a LOT of stuff on my computer!

As a result of the computer issues, I decided that it would be a great time to rearrange all my files on my computer in an attempt to get more "organized". I, in a moment of insanity, decided to start with my RR files.....and, let's just say that it was a much more time consuming task than I anticipated! But, it's done now and that is what matters :)

Finally, for whatever reason, this week I have really been hit with the realization of how FAST my kids are growing up. This week, I have particularly been feeling that my girls are just growing up right before my eyes. They've both asked to play softball this spring, Zoie is already excitedly talking about kindergarten next year and Olivia asked me just yesterday how old she had to be before she could have a boyfriend(NOT ready for that!). I look at my girls and I am just amazed at how incredibly blessed I am as a mother. Our family is not "traditional" in any sense of the word. But, more than anything, when it comes to parenting, I want to "get this right". For my girls, that means that I want to raise them to be beautiful young women on the INSIDE, so that that beauty can shine through in everything that they do.

"one quick picture"

2010-01-27T09:41:00.003-06:00

Robert rolls his eyes every time I pull out the camera and say, "Let me get one quick picture." He has learned that "one quick picture" often turns in to this:
Here's my "one quick picture" of Robert and Jakob:

Olivia was feeling left out so she jumps in the Robert's lap and says, "take another one".
So, I take this:

Not to be left out, Zoie jumps up on the couch and says, "Take one with me in it too!"
And that results in this:

Grifyn, who is very much a "follower", climbs up on the couch because, well, he doesn't want to be left out! He doesn't ask me to take another picture, but he does look at me with a huge grin and says "Cheese, mama"....which, to me, is just as good as him telling me to take his picture.
So, then we have this:

Now, my "mommy radar" has kicked in and I can't put the camera up without including the last kid in at least one photo. So, I scoop Xander up off the floor (who had no interest whatsoever in the whole picture thing) and once again proclaim, "One quick picture!" and I have this:

As all the kids pile off the couch to return to whatever it was they were doing before I got the camera out to take a photo of Robert and Jakob, Robert looks at me and says, "It is never just one picture. I don't know why you even say that."
Oh well! I DID get my "one quick picture". I just also happened to get 4 other photos too :)

the egg & the lie

2010-01-24T19:26:00.004-06:00

This week, we have entered a new stage in our home. Olivia has started testing the limits, specifically by telling lies. Thankfully, she's not very good at it. But still, it concerns me that she feels the need to lie right to my face. Yesterday, we had a particular instance where I discovered that she had been hiding an EGG in her room. Yes, you read that right. She snuck an egg out of the refrigerator and had it hid in her room. We found out when Zoie brought it out of their room to show it to me....and promptly dropped it on the floor. As I was cleaning up raw egg from my floor, Zoie explains the story of how Olivia has had this egg hid for several days in their room. Olivia initially denied it all....said she knew nothing about an egg. Eventually, she confessed to taking the egg to her room, hiding it and playing with it. Why did she do this? because she wanted to (yes, that was her answer). Did she know that she wasn't supposed to do that? Yes, she did (she admitted that). However, the admission of guilt and the actual discussion of why she did it came after about 10 minutes of her lying....saying that Zoie was not telling the truth, that she didn't know about the egg, that she had never played with an egg and certainly not in her room and on and on. We had a LONG discussion about lying that day. I tried to explain to her that if she feels the need to hide something (like an egg), that it means that she already knows that what she is doing is wrong. I explained to her again (because this was the 3rd time this week she had lied to my face, though this was certainly the biggest issue) that she will get in more trouble for lying than for admiting what she did when questioned. I talked about why it was important for people to feel like they could trust her. She is really starting to step up and try to be the "big sister" more and I talked to her about how in order for her to take on that role, I had to be able to trust her. We talked, and talked, and talked. She did spend some time at her desk writing sentences......I will always tell the truth....and then we talked some more about how much I loved her and how proud I am of her for the young lady that she's growing in to. I told her that while it seemed like to her that the whole afternoon had been about her getting in trouble, I also wanted her to know that it really hurt my feelings when she looked me in the eye and told a lie. I asked her how she would feel if I lied to her? We ended our talk by snuggling on the couch and talking about all the great things she'd done in the past few weeks to make me so proud of her (like making all A's on her report card!) and how very glad I was that God chose me to be her mom.

I hope, that through all of that, in addition to the discipline (and she did tell me that "honestly, writing sentences is not fun"), she got the WHY behind the "I will always tell the truth". I know that she's 7. I know that she's going to push the boundaries and test her limits a whole lot more before she's grown. I know that this is the beginning....and it's probably going to get a whole lot worse when she's a teen-ager. But I REALLY, REALLY want to "get this right". I want her to have the foundation. I want her to know the WHY behind the rules. Most of all, I want her to always feel safe in being HONEST with me....even if it's something that I don't want to hear.

Oh, and we do now have a new rule in our house: If you want to play with an egg, you must ask BEFORE you get it out of the refrigerator!!!

Yellow!

2010-01-21T11:54:00.003-06:00

Jakob has recently started taking karate.
He really enjoys it.
The only problem that I have found with it is that he wants to try the new moves out on the other kids. I have to remind him how much bigger than them he is!
Still, I'm glad that he has found something that he enjoys and looks forward to every week.
Last Friday, Jakob was able to test for his first belt. Now, I won't pretend to know a thing about karate. But, from his level of excitement, I know that this is a very good thing.
Here are the photos:
(disclaimer: I stole these off his dad's facebook page. So, thanks to Jim's iphone for the excellent photos)

BEFORE:

DURING:

AFTER:

YELLOW BELT!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS JAKOB!!!!!

Next up, the GREEN belt!
(yes, I had to ask Jakob what color was next)

If it didn't have to be

2010-01-20T20:04:00.002-06:00

I am eternally grateful for Xander & Grifyn and the privilege of being their mom.
I consider it a blessing that I will soon also be mom to another angel, from yet another country in Eastern Europe.
Not a day goes by that I don't look at my boys and think about how very lucky I am to have them here as a part of our family.
Loving them is a privilege.
But, it didn't have to be.
I could have missed out on everything.
Their birth families could have been given accurate information about Down syndrome.
Their country could have offered support to their birth families so that they felt capable of raising a child with Down syndrome.
Orphanages could be empty of all children with Down syndrome.
They could all be home, in their birth families, growing up in their birth country as active members of society.
Countries in Eastern Europe aren't there yet.
Parents aren't getting accurate information and support.
Slowly, but surely, baby steps are being taken to move in that direction.
But the families need our help.

Did you read the post that I wrote when I was in Bulgaria?
This one about support & information.
Well, allow me to introduce you all to the project that started with a vision from Reece's Rainbow,
gained motivation from my time with the families in Bulgaria
and has now become reality.

Please go and visit the newest outreach project through Reece's Rainbow:

Connecting The Rainbow
This project is designed to support the families that are
keeping and raising their children with Down syndrome in Eastern Europe.
This is for the children that have beat the odds and are NOT a part of the 147 million orphans in the world.
This is to support the families and to say, "We are with you. As you fight this fight to change the mindset of your entire country, you are not alone!"

I'll be blogging a lot more about what we're doing in the days to come.
For now, the immediate need is TOYS.
Melissa and Doug toys are perfect for the needs in Bulgaria.
We need items that are fun and that can also be used for therapy purposes.
All donations are tax deductible.
Toys can be ordered off of the wish list
and shipped directly to collection site.
Again, all purchases are tax deductible donations.
We'll also take gently used toys too.

So, go and check out the site!

Just because he's so darn cute ;)

2010-01-19T21:27:00.003-06:00

I had to use that title for this blog post because we hear that statement ALL.THE.TIME. in regards to Grifyn..."But, he's so cute!" Usually, that "but" comes after telling us something bad/disobedient and/or mischievous that he's done. So tonight, I want to say that he IS "so cute" and he has also has an AWESOME few days at school! His behavior is getting so much better. I am really starting to see small glimpses of maturity and he is really showing us that he CAN behave and do what he needs to do.....we just have to keep things REALLY structured and make sure that we ALWAYS follow through if he starts straying "off course". We do still have a comprehensive behavior plan in place for him and it IS WORKING. Grifyn really understands the system and he responds really well to it. That's the key. It works FOR HIM....because HE is a part of the plan. As a result, we're seeing lots of positive changes.

So, there is really no point to this post other than me wanting to take a moment and brag on my boy. He doing great with reading and math. He excels at social skills (that might be an understatement) and he can charm the socks off of anyone. Now, we're seeing his behavior start to move in the right direction too(at school).....and this mama couldn't be happier!

A new road to travel

2010-01-17T13:19:00.005-06:00

One of the most frequent questions that we get from people when they find out that we have/are adopting is
"Why didn't you adopt a child in the US?".
Simply put, the reason is because that's not what God called us to do.
God put the burden on our heart to adopt a child internationally and then led us to Reece's Rainbow and our children and the desire to continue to be a voice for children all over the world. We have walked this walk because that is the path that God put us on.
Through all of that, He also opened doors for me to learn more about adoption, to have the honor and privilege of assisting other families in their adoption journey and to use my degree and training as a special education teacher to help not only my own children, but other families who need someone to listen and/or help with situations with their children. Recently, I have also had the opportunity to begin to build relationships with families in another country that have chosen to raise their children with Down syndrome, despite the cultural pressures to put their children in orphanage. You'll all be hearing much more about that very soon.
I consider all of these things to be such a blessing in my life and all of it came from the initial calling that our adoption journey was to take us across the ocean, to children in other countries.
I still believe that there is an extraordinary need for advocacy and adoption of children with Down syndrome all over the world. I still plan to be a big part of that voice.
But, I also know that
I can't advocate for the adoption of children with special needs abroad- specifically those with Down syndrome- and ignore a child in my own back yard that's also living in the "system".
About 6 months ago, I received information about a boy in our state who was in a situation that sounded very similar to what children with Ds in other countries experience. I could have easily deleted the email and rationalized by saying that 1.) We were/are currently in the midst of an adoption and 2.) We don't "do" domestic adoption and we are not licensed nor do we have any desire to be licensed as foster parents.
But then, that statement in bold hit my heart like a ton of bricks.
So, I picked up the phone and made a phone call.
I can't share all the details right now, except to say that after a series of phone conversations, a whole lot of information on the above mentioned child and a whole lot more praying and soul searching, we have now come to this point:

Because of the specifics of this child's current circumstance & his background, the child's social worker made the decision that the child needs to be in a foster care situation before adoption is even considered.
We agree with the reasoning behind her decision.
So, we need to become licensed to provide foster care in the state of Alabama. Since we already have experience raising children with Down syndrome, adopting children with Down syndrome who have been in institutionalized settings, are very familiar with the other needs that this little boy has AND the fact that the state wants to place a specific child in our home; we are not going to have to take 3 months worth of classes (which is the typical way to get licensed for foster care in AL). Instead, we will be doing a program in our home. We will be reading through 6 booklets of information (the photo above is the first booklet) and answering a packet of questions at the end of each book. When we are done reading each book, we will call and schedule a home visit with the social worker who is doing the training(we read book 1 this weekend, so we will be calling to schedule the first visit on Tuesday). The social worker will come to the house and go through our answers with us. Once the foster care license is obtained, we will work with the state to begin the transition of moving the child into our home. There is a process to making this happen, but I have not even begin to understand how that works just yet.
So, NO, I have no idea what the time line looks like for all of this.
At the same time, we will be doing all of the fingerprinting for back ground checks (yes, we have to do all of that again even though ours are still current) and all of the paper work needed for adoption. The 6 visits in our home to complete the foster care requirements will also count as the home visits for our adoption home study. Once we are licensed for foster care, the social worker will then complete a home study for domestic adoption in the state of AL for us.
At this time, we are NOT committing to adopt a particular child. But, everything will be in place so that if the opportunity presents itself, we will have all the paper work done that is needed to adopt. For now, we are commiting to fostering a child...the rest is up to The Man Upstairs.
This is all new territory for us and I will not even pretend to have all the answers.
I know very little about foster care and domestic adoption.
What I do know is what I said above: I can't advocate for children in other countries and ignore a child in my own back yard.
We are very familiar with the needs that this particular child has.
We are more than willing to provide a home for him.
If that is temporary or permanent is not for us to say at this time.
But, we're moving forward to be available to help in whatever way we are needed.

We're open to where ever God calls us to go....
across the world or right here in our own back yard.

LOVE

2010-01-15T18:04:00.004-06:00

Meet MARA
.
Mara is 9 years old and has Apert Syndrome.
She is an orphan in Eastern Europe.
Her life story is already one of heart break and a second chance.
When she was born, she was placed in a horrible institution.
It is one that has been highlighted on TV shows and internet websites as the worst of circumstances.
Mara's country has been proactive in reforming this institution and many others like it.
Mara got a second chance.
Two years ago, she was moved out of that hopeless, horrible place and placed in an orphanage for children where she could receive medical care, therapy, an education and a chance to grow and develop.
Mara has THRIVED in her new environment.
She has had surgery to begin to fix her webbed hands
(and she can use them the way that they are).
She is attending a school program for children with special needs.
She is getting love and attention and a chance to learn new skills.
Mara loves her baby doll.
She watches the care givers take care of the younger children and mimics their actions with her doll (feeding it, dressing it, rocking it, etc)
Mara still has delays, but she's making progress every day.
She understands everything that is said to her and has a calm and loving spirit.
She is tiny for her age and actually looks to be about 4 or 5.
Despite everything that she has lived through, this precious angel is still smiling.
But, her time is running out once again.
Mara has a birthday coming up in March.
She'll be 10 years old.
She can't stay in her current orphanage much longer, as it is designed for younger children.
Thankfully, she is not being sent back to an institution.
But, she IS being sent to an orphanage for older children.
An orphanage that does not usually take children with special needs.
Can you imagine this TINY girl....with her obvious special needs....
in a place with older children that have never seen a child with a disability?
MARA NEEDS A FAMILY.

From now until Valentine's Day, Reece's Rainbow is conducting an awareness campaign for the older angels with special needs.
Please join me in raising awareness for MARA and all the other angels on this page.
If you would like more information on MARA or the process of adopting from her country, you can email me via the contact information on the sidebar or by leaving a comment on this page.
Donations to MARA's adoption fund can be made by sending a check to
Reece's Rainbow
PO Box 4024
Gaithersburg, MD 20885

or through paypal using your bank account or credit card by clicking on this chip in:

ALL the money goes directly to MARA's grant fund

and is a tax deductible donation through Reece's Rainbow.

You can also order items with the beautiful graphic at the top of this post by clicking here. All proceeds from today-Feb.28th will be given to the angels on this page.

Can I hide under the covers, please?

2010-01-14T16:49:00.000-06:00

This has been quite a week.
Found out this week that my paypal account was hacked and through that, money was stolen out of our bank account. Still no word on when we're going to get it back. My new debit card hasn't arrived in the mail yet either.
Found out this week that thanks to the sucky economy and pro ration in the good ole state of Alabama education system, the school district is cutting back on certain things. For us, it's not a huge change. But, it will require changing Xander's IEP and modifying his daily schedule. He doesn't do well with change, so it may be a rough week or two once the new plan is implemented.
Robert has worked two 24 hour shifts in the past 48 hours & slept a whole lot the other 2 days to make up for the lack of sleep on the days he worked. 24 hour shifts suck.
Olivia has a fever. No other symptoms, just a fever that's hanging out around 102.
Xander's ear is draining again...which probably means an ear infection is soon to follow.
Zoie has decided this week to become obsessed with panty hose. She informed me a few minutes ago that she is going to sleep with a certain pair of panty hose tonight to make sure that she gets to wear them to school tomorrow. Whatever. I'm picking my battles. If she wants to sleep with a pair of panty hose, so be it.
Grifyn has had a surprisingly good week at school so far. Well, except for that small incident where he climbed on top of a table and ran across it. *sigh*
Today I found out that all of our documentation for the adoption I-800 has been lost. All of the details about that can be found by clicking here.
As a result of the stress and panic that accompanied the news about our I-800 & my frantic panic to try to fix it, I completely forgot that today is Thursday and both boys missed therapy this afternoon.
Sometimes, you just have one of those days.....all week long.But hey, tomorrow is Friday. Fridays are always great, right?????

Daddy/Xander photo shoot

2010-01-13T19:28:00.003-06:00

A typical conversation when ever I am trying to take a photo:

Me: "Smile"

Me:(looking at the above photo on the camera) "Xander wasn't looking. Let's try again."

Me: "Still not looking." (by this time, the other kids are standing behind me calling Xander's name, clapping, dancing around and doing anything they can think of to get him to look.)
Robert: "Here, I will help."

Me: "I don't want a picture of you holding his head! Quit being silly!"
Robert: "Wait, wait! I will make him smile."

After about 10 other photos that consisted of Robert tickling Xander and Xander collapsing in a fit of laughter (which means he could not look at the camera), I did....FINALLY....get one good one........

What I learned during Christmas vacation

2010-01-10T17:42:00.002-06:00

When my children got out of school in December for the Christmas holidays, it was supposed to be for 2 weeks. Thanks to a busted heating unit, Xander & Grifyn have been home for 3 full weeks now. Their school was closed an extra week while the heating unit was repaired. They will, hopefully, return to school tomorrow.
What I have learned in this past week is that our plans for summer break are going to have to be greatly modified. In the past, summer break has been a relaxing time with no real schedule & the kids and I just did whatever, whenever we wanted. I planned some activities, but mostly they just played and did "kid stuff". However, the events of the past week have made me realize that this plan is not going to work this year. You see, what I have witnessed over the past week is a huge decline in Grifyn's behavior. We already work very hard to keep his behavior under control. This past week has required more work. He has reverted back to some behaviors that we haven't seen in many months. He's introduced us to some new behaviors. He has pushed my buttons far beyond the safe distance to push them.....and I've tried to be patient while working to determine what is causing this rapid decline in behavior.
I've come to the conclusion that Grifyn can't regulate his own time. He can't just play and hang out with his siblings. When given "free reign" to make choices, he makes bad ones. It all goes back to the root of all of Grifyn's behavior problems...he thrives on attention. Good or bad, he doesn't care. We work very hard to not feed into this. It's a very effective way to manage his behavior. But, now he has figured out a new way to get negative attention.....by being mean to his siblings. The problem is that they problem solve better than he does. He thinks that if they are crying/yelling because of something he's done, then it's good....because it's attention. But for them, since they don't want him to do these things, they start not wanting him to play with them. Then, we get into a whole new set of issues.....because they don't want him around. Thankfully, my kids are very good about understanding what we're trying to do in teacher Grifyn and Xander how to behave. I must say that Jakob, Olivia & Zoie do very well with both boys. We teach them how to help us teach the boys and they help as much as they can. But, there are times when they are just kids......kids that don't want to be around another kid that's being mean just to be mean....even if that is their brother. The challenge is making Grifyn understand that it is HIS behavior that is keeping him from interacting with his siblings. When the girls go in their room and shut the door because they are tired of him being mean to them, he doesn't understand that HE caused it....that HE is the reason that he doesn't get to go in their room and play. That is what we struggle to communicate to him. (and yes, I allow my girls to do this because they deserve to have time to play and be kids without constantly dealing with Grifyn all the time.....they are kids, afterall.)
Now, do not misunderstand. This is NOT all the time. 90% of the time, Grifyn plays well with his siblings and all is well in our little world. But I have seen this week that he's not going to be able to function....and thrive....in our typical summer environment. If he can't handle 3 weeks at Christmas time, then 8 weeks of summer will set him way back.
I'm really not looking forward to this week at school. I fear that it's going to be a long week for Grifyn. He already struggles with his behavior at school. If nothing else, this time has made me realize that he's going to need something very structured for summer. I don't know exactly what just yet......but I'm going to have to figure something out.

2010-01-08T10:25:00.004-06:00

14-0!

I love the University of Alabama.
I will never forget the feeling of walking across the quad on the way to class that first day and thinking, "Holy cow, I'm really here...on my own and in college."
I will never forget the first time I stepped on to the field at Bryant Denny Stadium in a Million Dollar Band uniform and played the first note of the fight song while the crowd went wild.
I will never forget the come from behind win when our team beat Auburn and calling my mom from the bus sometime around midnight just to tell her Roll Tide (she's an Auburn fan).
and
I will never forget what it felt like to walk across the stage at graduation realizing that despite everything, I'd made it.
Hanging on the wall in my bedroom right now is my diploma from The University of Alabama.
Right next to it is a photo of The Million Dollar Band spelling BAMA on the field. I'm in the B.
College and football were intertwined for me.
I never cared a whole lot for football until my days at Alabama. But I quickly learned about the pride that comes with being a part of something that is really, really big here in Alabama.

So, yes, I am one of "those" people. I proudly wear my Crimson and White, I can yell "Roll Tide" with the best of them and I know every single word of the fight song and plan to teach it to my kids too. If that makes me obnoxious or a redneck or whatever else then so be it.
Today (and every other day too), I am proud to be a part of the University of Alabama family.
ROLL TIDE!!!!

Xander's new communication skills

2010-01-07T11:14:00.003-06:00

Xander has had a "communication explosion" the past few weeks. Actually, I believe that he is finally understanding the PURPOSE behind communication.....and how to use it to his advantage. He is now signing a full sentences instead of just single words. Well, he has one sentence that he really likes to use and it's the main one we see. The sentence is:
"I want ____" and then he fills in the blank with "cup", "eat", "swing", "go", "shoes" or whatever it is that he wants at the moment. He's also saying, "Da-da, go swing" and will sign
"ma-ma" and then say, "go swing". He can say "ma-ma", but for whatever reason, a majority of the time, he signs it instead. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose because he knows I want him to say it! I should point out that him saying the words "go" and "swing" (swing sounds more like "wing" & sometimes just "weee", but he's really trying and that is a hard word to say!) are very new and have come because he is completely in love with his Christmas present (an indoor swing). He's also trying very hard to say a variety of other words now too. I really think that he is starting to realize that communicating serves a purpose.

The hardest thing to overcome with Xander is that he truly doesn't care about 99% of things. He prefers to not be around other kids and he just doesn't care when he gets left out of activities or can't do something. He doesn't have that desire to please others like Grifyn does. He doesn't care if you clap and cheer to get him to do something. He doesn't try to do things because he wants to be like the other kids. The things that naturally motivate a large majority of kids to learn and develop skills just simply don't work with Xander.A lot of that is the Autism. I know that. But, it makes teaching him new skills a lot more difficult. We have found that with most skills, we just keep exposing him to things over and over again until he decides that it's meaningful to him. We clearly see this with communication. He is finally starting to realize that if he signs (and he says some of the words too), "I want cup" that more than likely, someone in this house is going to refill his sippy cup (except for his mean ole mom who does not let him sit around and drink endless cups of chocolate milk).

Yesterday, Xander and I actually had a conversation in which he actively participated and responded appropriately. He had just went to the potty and as is his habit, when I go to get him off the potty, he always asks to take a bath. He was in our master bathroom yesterday and we have a tub and a stand alone shower. He knows that he takes his "bath" in the shower (he takes lots of showers because it's a sensory thing...but that's another post). Still, he pointed to the tub and said "ba-ba-ba"(which is how he says bath). I pointed to the shower and said, "Do you want to take a bath?" Now, we have been working on getting him to answer yes/no questions. Again, back to the motivation thing. He thinks that it is SO funny when I say "no, no, no" and do the "no" sign really fast consecutive times, so that's how we try to get him to sign/say "no". When I pointed to the shower and asked my question, he looked right at me and said "no, no, no" while signing no really fast just like I do! (first time he has ever answered no to a question!). THEN, if that wasn't a big enough shocker, he giggled, pointed to the tub again and said, "ba, ba, ba". He actually effectively communicated to me that he didn't want to get in the shower, he wanted to get in the tub!!!!! I can't even explain what a huge step forward this is.....nor how shocked I was. I, of course, pointed back at the shower and said, "This is where you take a bath. Do you want to get in the shower and have a bath?"(there is a very good reason why he doesn't get in the tub, I promise). He looked at the tub and then looked at the shower and signed & said "yes" followed by "ba-ba-ba" and pointed to the shower. Because of his awesome communication skills, he got to take a bath in the middle of the day.

My week

2010-01-05T19:50:00.004-06:00

All plans for this week have been officially canceled, rearranged or otherwise put in the "wishful thinking" category.
Why?
1.) The boys teacher called today. The school's heating unit is broken. The part to fix it will not be here until the weekend. School is canceled until Monday. So, every kindergartner in town gets an extra week of Christmas vacation (it's an all kindergarten school). The teacher did say that all teachers were having to work all week....all bundled up in heavy jackets, hats and gloves. So, about the time all the kids return.....wild after 3 weeks out of school.....all the teachers should be good and sick.
2.) The surveillance system at the kennels decided to stop working. Who knows why. Who knows when it will be fixed. Why does that matter? The dogs can NOT be left alone. So, Robert will be working 24 hour shifts......sitting at the kennels so that the dogs aren't alone. My hubby did, however, earn extra "my husband is wonderful" points because when he made the schedule for 24 hour shifts, he remembered that THE GAME is Thursday night, so he did not schedule himself for Thursday (and I'm sure he told all the other handlers that he had to be at home so that his crazy wife could watch THE GAME while he keeps the kids safe from her insanity).

Because of the above mentioned items, all of my great and wonderful plans for this week have been postponed until next Monday. Most of it just involved cleaning and getting the house back in order after the insanity of the holidays. Oh well.
Playing with my kids is much more fun than cleaning any day!
(and the mess will still be here on Monday)

2010-01-02T13:59:00.000-06:00

Grab This Button

Happy Birthday Zhora!

2010-01-02T12:12:00.003-06:00

My friend Lisa has a special place in her heart for this little boy(because he looks remarkably like her little boy!) and she's asked all of her online friends to share this little one today on his birthday. I must admit, IF we were going to adopt internationally again (we're not), this little boy and one other in the same orphanage would be the ones that I'd gladly commit to bring home. Lisa is not in a position to adopt right now (and neither are we, so no, that's not an option!).....but SOMEONE out there IS, and just needs to take the leap of faith and accept the BLESSINGS that will come with this little boy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHORA!!!!!

Zhora is three years old today. He currently has $1870 in his grant fund. He lives in a pretty nice orphanage in Eastern Europe. But, even a "pretty nice" orphanage can not take the place of a family.....and soon, because of his age and the fact that he has Down syndrome, he will be moved to a mental institution. He'll spend the rest of his life there....UNLESS a family brings him home.

This is Charlie. He's in the same orphanage as Zhora.
Charlie is already 5 and is truly living on borrowed time at the orphanage. He also needs a family to step out in faith and save him from life in an institution. Charlie has a combined $1941 in his grant fund.

Together, these boys have $3,811 in grant money.

Are you the family that is willing to say YES and experience the BLESSINGS that one or both of these boys will bring to your life? Are you the one that can make this the last birthday that Zhora spends without a mommy and daddy of his very own?

You can read more about both of these boys by clicking here.

Hand prints

2010-01-01T21:16:00.005-06:00

I've had this idea since last Christmas. I waited until AFTER Christmas, when the big ornaments were 50% off :) I also made sure to buy enough of them to have for next year too!

You caught the part where I said I've had this idea for a while, right? So, while in Bulgaria, I made sure to trace Kullen's hands on several sheets of tracing paper. One of those paper handprints were used to make an ornament for our Bulgarian angel too:

Here's his ornament:

The kids had fun laying their hands over Kullen's to see who had the biggest hands. Kullen's hands are bigger than everyone's except for Jakob. I suspected while in Bulgaria that he is bigger than Olivia. His measurements are very close to hers and if the hands are any indication, he IS bigger than her (which is going to annoy her, since she's older).

And, just in case you aren't following along on our adoption blog, here's our boy:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KULLEN!

pictures to make up for slacking!

2009-12-30T18:51:00.005-06:00

I know that I have been neglecting my poor blog! I am so behind on sharing photos and updates. We've had a fun and busy couple of weeks. The kids have all been really good & we've done lots of fun things.
Here are a few of my favorite pictures from our afternoon at Pizza Castle earlier this week.
The kids LOVE going to Pizza Castle. It's basically a bigger & cheaper version of Chucky Cheese. The kids have a blast playing games and riding rides.

What a blessing!

2009-12-28T17:58:00.002-06:00

12 fifty-five gallon garbage bags + 4 oversized rubber maid tubs + 4 regular sized rubbermaid tubs......all FULL of CLOTHES FOR MY CHILDREN!!!!!

We have been so incredibly blessed today!
One advantage of being an Army family (and it's also a disadvantage because it means saying good-bye to our friends) is that someone we know is always getting ready for a PCS (Permanent Change of Station.....which means they are moving). We are often blessed with items for our kids and our house as people purge and down size in preparation for a PCS, especially when the family is getting ready to go overseas. Actually, over half the furniture in my house was free and given to us from various families as part of their PCS process. There are some advantages to being known as the people with the biggest family ;)
A few weeks ago, one of the guys that Robert works with asked if we would take hand-me-down clothes for our children. I had no idea when he offered to give us "some" rubber maid tubs with clothes in it that it would be a 15 passenger van full of clothes! This family has boys and girls and they are all a little bit older than my crew, so these clothes are such a blessing! I'm sure that there will be some clothes in there that are too small for what we need, and we will turn around and bless another family with those. But for today, we are thankful for the blessing and glad that soldiers in my husband's company always think of us when they're ready to clean out their house/garage/storage unit!

So, anyone want to come and help me sort clothes by gender, size and season????????

enjoying the quiet

2009-12-26T19:44:00.002-06:00

The kids are all in bed and the Christmas mayhem is now behind us. I have tons of pictures (nope, I haven't even started to take them off the camera yet) to share.....maybe tomorrow.

Christmas was actually pretty low key. We went to my mom's for Christmas...and that was it. We did not do a lot of traveling this year, no celebrating in 10 different places or anything like that. I must admit that it was a VERY nice change. We actually didn't do our "family Christmas" (just us and the kids) until about 8:30 last night.

Today was spent taking everything out of boxes (and getting all of those boxes out of my house!) and starting to organize all the new "stuff". We also started the purge....moving all the older toys out of the house. We should finish that project tomorrow and I hope to have my house completely back in order by Monday.

All in all, we had a wonderful Christmas. The day was spent with family and that was such a gift in and of itself. One of my favorite parts of the day was when we were driving to my mom's house. The car was really quiet and all of a sudden, Zoie yelled "Happy Birthday Jesus!" It was sweet and spontaneous and warmed my heart because she KNOWS what Christmas is really all about.

Stay tuned for photos.........

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

2009-12-24T10:45:00.002-06:00

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas!
It is my prayer that everyone reading this knows the true reason for the season. Christmas happened so that we all could experience the saving grace that comes with Easter!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

3 years

2009-12-23T16:12:00.003-06:00

I hope that all of you reading this can recall at least one moment in your life that you can point to and say, "That moment changed my life." There are several moments like that in my life. One of them happened 3 years ago today. I've shared this story many times, but in the midst of this Christmas season, I really want to share it all again. For those who don't know how Robert & I got "here".....5 kids (soon to be 6), 3 international adoptions, kids with down syndrome and all of that, I invite you all to remember with me. It all started 3 years ago today. (<<<---click that link)

Today, as we prepare to celebrate Christmas with those that we love, we are ever mindful of the little one who is still waiting on us in Bulgaria.....and so many others (<<<--- click that link too)that need a mommy and daddy too.

It's already Christmas Eve in Bulgaria. Merry Christmas, my son. Lord willing, I will see you again very soon. You're in my thoughts today.

random tidbits for the week

2009-12-21T17:47:00.002-06:00

While I was in Bulgaria, Zoie discovered a love for computer games. She is now sitting in the recliner with a laptop in her lap playing games on www.pbskids.org I, on the other hand, am laying on the couch with my lap top in front of me (I really love this tiny little thing! It's size makes being on the computer so much easier.) Xander is sitting in between my legs, playing and just lounging. He's been there for over 30 minutes. That's as good an excuse as ever for me to be laying on the couch playing on the computer :)

Xander is showing signs that he's ready to potty train...whoo-hoo! He's holding his bladder for long periods of time and is pretty consistently peeing in the potty (when we remember to stay on schedule with taking him). Yesterday, he woke up with a dry diaper, went pee on the potty, stayed dry all through church, went potty after church and was dry until about 3pm (when he finally did pee in his diaper). So, he's doing pretty good! He will, on occasion, ask to go potty (he uses the sign) and we're taking him. Sometimes he goes, sometimes not. But, we want to help him to make the connection. He's also indicating when he wants his diaper changed (patting it and/or pointing to his crotch area). The funny thing is that he will only tell his daddy when he needs a diaper! Well, it's funny to me because I'm not having to change diapers this week :)
So, I hope that 2010 is the year that our family will finally be diaper free!!!

Grifyn seems to have finally recognized/made the connection about Santa. Every time he sees a santa somewhere (or a photo or on tv), he says "ho, ho, ho! It's pretty funny and he always grins really big after he does it. He had no concept of opening presents or anything surrounding Christmas last year, so I'm very interested to see how he's going to react to the festivities this year.

Olivia and Jakob are spending the week at their dad's house. It's really weird only having 3 kids here...and a lot quieter too.

On the same topic: Without Olivia here, Zoie talks to me a lot more. She has said my name at least a million times today. Seriously. I never realize how much Zoie talks until I'm the only one she has to talk to!

I ordered 18 pairs of toe socks yesterday. I might be slightly obsessed. But, I LOVE toe socks.....and they were on sale (free shipping too). My feet stay cold in the winter and for whatever reason, toe socks seem to keep my feet warmer. They're also very comfy!

I am slacking terribly on uploading photos to share on the blog.

Cookies in a jar for Christmas

2009-12-19T16:37:00.003-06:00

We had a lot of teachers, aides and therapists that we wanted to give Christmas gifts to this year. I wanted the gifts to be something that the kids could help create....since the gifts are supposed to be from them. So, as a family, we made the Christmas cookie jars.....where all of the ingredients to make cookies are put in a mason jar. I used this recipe .
My kids LOVE doing this project and giving it as gifts. What I love about it is that it's super easy, doesn't cost a lot per gift, the recipient can choose when to make the cookies (as opposed to baking cookies and giving them out, in which case they'd need to be eaten right away), and all of my kids are able to help with this project.
We set this up as an assembly line, since we had so many jars to make. The girls did the messier bottom ingredients, Grifyn added the sugar and Xander added the M&M's to the top (and yes, he tried to eat a few...lol). It was messy and it was FUN!

*The gift bags are actually made for wine bottles! I found them at the Dollar Tree. They were very cute, in an assortment of colors and the kids loved that they had bells on them :)

VERY disapointed in Disney

2009-12-18T10:31:00.004-06:00

The girls and I went for a girls only night last night. We went to the movies to see The Princess and The Frog. My girls were very excited to go see this movie.
Since it was a special night, I splurged on dinner. Here's what they had:

popcorn, sour straws and slurpies :)

They had a great time, simply because we were having a girls night. I enjoyed getting to be with my girls and having this special time with them.

The movie, on the other hand, was very disappointing. I would NOT recommend this movie for young children. My girls did not understand most of the movie, the actual plot of the movie....and it lost their attention for about the middle hour. The reason I would not recommend this movie is because the whole plot of the movie is about voodoo. It is NOT based on the fairy tail about the princess and the frog....not at all. There was lots of voodoo, shadows coming out of the ground to symbolize demons, scary songs and the scary demonic masks and the demons even come out of the ground and take the "shadow man" and then they show his tombstone. Also, several times they talked about taking the prince's blood and showed it in a voodoo charm. It had several parts that were scary and honestly, my girls did not understand the story line....because it was all about voodoo. I would NOT recommend this movie for young children and I am VERY disappointed in Disney :(

catching up

2009-12-17T09:25:00.003-06:00

WHEW!
I'm back from Bulgaria & returned home to find that my calendar is full of events and things to do this week! So, I'm slowly digging myself out of the hole that was created with my absence....returning phone calls, going through the mail, looking at all the work the kids did while I was gone that they saved for me to see....oh, and unpacking everything that went to Bulgaria. We have a busy few days leading up to school getting out for Christmas vacation and I have tons of photos to share. In addition to that, we have to complete the next step in our adoption process and we're trying to get all of that done this week too.
So, bare with me while I catch up to life!
I have to dig my camera chord out of the bag so that I can share photos that I've taken since being home. I must say, after 10 days in another country and a long 10 hour plane ride across the ocean, there is nothing better than getting off the escalator in the Atlanta airport and immediately hearing screams of "Mommy! Mommy!"
It's good to be home!

click on over

2009-12-03T18:54:00.003-06:00

This blog will be pretty quiet until December 15th. Why? because ALL the good stuff is going to be on our adoption blog, which you can read along with here. I hope you'll all follow along as I travel to Bulgaria!

We need to remember

2009-12-01T20:42:00.003-06:00

I read a lot of blogs. I have all my favorites in my google reader and on any given day, I can be found reading blogs written by families who are somehow involved with adoption, families who have at least one kiddo with Down syndrome, military families and then those I have in the category "just cuz"....which is a variety of blogs that I have somehow come across and enjoy reading, but they don't fit into any one category.
Of all of those, there are a few that are dear to my heart for a different reason than all the rest. These blogs are written by what is commonly called War Widows. Women who have lived my worst nightmare....the casualty assistance officer standing at their door....and are blogging through their adjustment to their "new normal". My heart aches for these women and their children. They are the very real reminder that there are people dying every single day because they believe that this country is worth fighting for. It is just by coincidence that the blogs I read are all written by women who lost their husbands in November and December.

Tonight, as we hung the ornaments on our tree, I thought about these families. The military ornaments that we have (one for each year that signifies the duty station and the ones from Robert's deployments) always go on the top of the tree. They are there to remind us to remember......to remember all of those who will be spending this Christmas away from the family that loves them dearly & those who will never have that joyous homecoming reunion.

This Christmas season, as you gather around your tree and celebrate with those you love, please take a moment and remember how very blessed we are as a Nation. We have the freedom to celebrate Christmas....and every other holiday in December....freely & as we so choose to do so. The price of that freedom is in the lives of those who never made it home for another Christmas. As you remember this holiday season, please think about those who are so far away from home this Christmas season. Think about those who are, right in this moment, packing to leave their families in the coming month. And please, think about those who will spend this Christmas with a piece of their heart missing....because they will forever carry the title of War Widow.

more random pics

2009-11-30T11:57:00.004-06:00

Just some random photos from the past weekend:

The Thanksgiving holiday weekend was quite exhausting for little man......

Was there really TEN kids here this weekend????

2009-11-29T18:19:00.006-06:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with Meredith and her family. In the week leading up to their visit, it was quite funny to see/hear the reaction of our family & friends when we told them that there would be 10 kids and just 4 adults here on Thanksgiving. But, I must say, it really didn't feel like there were 10 kids here. All of the kids were very well behaved and got along great together. It was nice to get to spend time with friends who "get us"....you know, the whole have "a lot" of kids & raising multiple kids with disabilities thing.

Here are some of the many I snapped this weekend:

MICAH:
Micah made me think of how I envision Grifyn must have been at 3 years old. He's full of mischief and ALL boy. He loved carrying around one of the many balls that we have in our play room, would stand in the middle of the room and spin in circles until he was dizzy (and then giggle as he fell and get up and do it all over again) & he'd sit and wait until he thought no one was looking and then snatch a toy away from another child and look all sweet and innocent when someone called him name and told him to give it back! He will walk over and throw his arms in the air and flash the cutest smile....you know, as if he's saying, "You know you're going to pick me up...how could you say no to this cute face?" Yep, I was a sucker for that the whole time he was here!

KRISTOPHER:
Zoie & Kristopher became fast friends (notice the hand holding...that did NOT escape our notice!)Jakob also had fun playing cops and robbers with Kristopher.

BRIANNA:
I don't have many photos of Brianna because every time I asked her if I could take her photo, she told me no! She warmed up to us the last day they were here though and I think I heard her talk more in 2 hours than in the 2 previous days. She seemed to really like Robert. She'd go and sit in his lap and let him play with her. Personally, I think she was trying to warm him up to the idea of having a girl with Down syndrome ;)

EMMA:
Emma and Xander are a lot alike. Emma does her own thing most of the time. But when she decides that she wants attention, she is so much fun! It just has to be on her terms...which we're used to because of Xander. Once or twice, she and Xander teamed up to play.....like when they both decided to pile on top of Grifyn!

LYNAE:
Lynae was popular with all of my kids. Olivia was particularly smitten with the baby. It's been a long time since there was a baby around here! I thought Lynae might win Robert over to the idea of a baby, but even after all of her cuteness (and Brianna too), Robert still says, "No more girls & no babies!" :)
At one point this weekend, Zoie said, "Mommy, is the baby's name Lemonade?" LOL!

The kids all had a very fun weekend and my kids are already asking when they'll get to see their new friends again. Needless to say, they're now looking forward to our trip to the Down syndrome convention next summer!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

2009-11-26T15:22:00.002-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

5 kids with Down syndrome, 5 typical kids, and 4 adults means…

....a house full of laughter and good friends!
The Cornish family joined us for Thanksgiving!

pretend play

2009-11-23T16:39:00.003-06:00

One of the things that is the most noticeable difference about Xander is his lack of pretend play. He interacts with toys, but not with any type of meaning. He'll push buttons on a cause and effect toy, but usually it's just to stim off the sound/texture. There is no meaning behind the playing...no imagination, no true interaction. In addition to this, Xander also reacts very differently to other children. He prefers adults. He will occasionally play with his siblings. But, for the most part, they're just people who are in the same room. He doesn't seek to interact with them......unless they're loud and it ticks him off and then he'll go over and hit them or something.

Occasionally, he has what I think of as "breakthrough" moments. It's hard to explain, but it's basically times where it seems like he really "gets it"......where he's aware and alert and a part of his environment. Usually, these moments are quick and then they're over. But from time to time, he will do something and decide he likes it...and then he keeps doing it. But, he doesn't ever appear to be truly paying attention to the other kids (and it's the same way at school...he loves the adults and just tolerates the kids).

Today, was one of those moments where he showed us that he does, in fact, pay attention to what's going on around him (which begs the question that maybe he just doesn't care?).
One of the games that Jakob and Grifyn are always playing is cops and robbers. Poor Grifyn gets shot or arrested at least 100 times a day.....and he plays a very good bad guy. He can get shot and fall over dead with the best of them (that...is pretend play). Jakob has tried to engage Xander in their game many times with no luck. Xander never acts the least bit interested.
So, imagine my surprise this afternoon when Xander is sitting beside me on the couch. He'd just got home from school, so it was just him and me and Jakob. Jakob was walking around with his toy gun and like he's done a million times before, he pointed it at Xander and pretended to shoot.
Then it happened.
Xander....with no prompting or anything.....threw his hands up to his chest and fell over on the couch. "Dying" just like Grifyn has done thousands of times before.
AND HE LAUGHED
He was pretending.

Jakob & I both stood there shocked for a minute and I quickly told Jakob to do it again. Over and over and over for about 10 minutes, Jakob "shot" and Xander....with the loudest laugh of delight...would fall over "dead" on the couch.

I don't know if any of you can fully appreciate what I saw today. But it was wonderful.
Xander was simply being a 6 year old boy.

*DISCLAIMER: This is a FAKE gun...a TOY....NOT REAL...MADE FOR KIDS and all that*

Video of my boys:

Drive In movie

2009-11-22T12:48:00.001-06:00

We went to the drive in movie theater last night and had so much fun! People often ask how we go and do things with so many kids, so I wanted to share our experience at the movies.
Part of having a large family is being creative when we want to go and do things…since going anywhere costs more money the more people you have. If we tried to go to a typical movie theater on a Saturday night with our entire family, it would cost a small fortune. Add on to that the whole having to sit in a chair and be still & quiet for 2+ hours and well, it just would not be a fun experience. So, we go to the drive in instead! The drive in theater is much cheaper. Our entire family of 7 watched TWO movies for $21. We packed a cooler full of dinner, snacks and drinks and brought lots of things along to make sure that everyone was comfortable during the movies. There are some advantages to having a 15 passenger van! We took the back 2 seats out, which provided a huge area for the kids to stay protected from the wind. We took a twin size air mattress, fold up chairs and lots of blankets. The kids sat inside the back of the van with the back door open(and it wasn’t that cold). If you’ve never been to a drive in movie, the sound plays over the radio. So, we could also sit outside. A couple of friends went too in their vehicle, so we had our van and a truck parked together. Because we were going to see a back to back movie presentation that ended with a movie that debuted this weekend, we knew it would be crowded. So, we actually got there an hour before show time(good thing too). My kiddos were at the movies from 6pm to midnight…..and their behavior was AWESOME. They had a GREAT time.
Here’s how they watched most of the first movie:

Zoie decided to sit outside during this movie. All the other kids are actually in the back of the van(it’s hard to tell from the photo). Robert & I sat in the back of our friends’ truck.
The plan was to have all the kids ready for “bed” before the 2nd movie started(it started at 930). That way, if they fell asleep during the movie(which we knew they would), they’d all already be comfy and in a position to sleep. So, during the break between movies we arranged a “comfy area” for everyone (air mattress, bench seats,etc). We also turned the back van seat around so that it was facing the movie too. The weather was trying not to cooperate as we got ready for the 2nd movie. It would occasionally sprinkle a few rain drops. So, the grown ups had to move inside the truck. The kids had a cell phone inside the van so that we could talk back and forth(which they thought was so cool…lol). They were all sound asleep before the 2nd movie was going good. So, Robert & I got to enjoy the movie that I’ve been waiting to see for MONTHS, and also enjoy the company of our friends too. The kids had a good time watching the first movie and also just being “at the movies”(they’re already asking when we can do that again) and I didn’t have to worry about leaving my kids with someone, what they were doing at home, etc. Best of both worlds! It’s really important to us that our kids not miss out on going and doing things just because we have a large family. So, we just get a little more creative in finding ways that we can all do things as a family without breaking our bank account. The drive in movies is a great way to do this!

Oh, and the movie…….GREAT, AWESOME and well worth the wait/time/money does not do it justice. Even though I knew how it would end (I’ve read the book), the last scene was by far the BEST…action drama, romance and an ending that just makes a girl go *sigh* I’m purposefully not mentioning the name of the movie because I don’t want people googling the movie and landing on my blog, but it shouldn’t be hard to guess…..

Mini Me!

2009-11-21T15:05:00.003-06:00

It's a MINI version of my laptop....and SURPRISE....my husband bought it for me :)

It came with a tiny external drive and Robert put all my programs on it for me. I've already organized my thumb drives(yes, I have more than one).
So, this tiny 2 pound beauty will be traveling in my purse when I go to Bulgaria.
Talk about lightening the load of my carry on!
BEST.HUSBAND.EVER.
That would be mine :)

little moment

2009-11-17T19:59:00.001-06:00

I’ve mentioned this several times, but for those who have missed it, let me say it again: Xander is a daddy’s boy. He seeks out his daddy when he wants something ~~like a cup because he knows his daddy is a sucker and won’t tell him no~~.He walks more for his daddy, he talks more for his daddy (and da-da is one of his favorite words) and when daddy is back in the sewing room, Xander can usually be found sitting in the room too…just hanging out with dad.
My sister took this photo at the Buddy Walk:

I love the moment that this photo captures. Though you can’t see Xander’s face in this photo, you can see his little hand clutching his daddy……and the absolute contentment on his daddy’s face.

This is the same man who once said to me, “You want to adopt a kid with Down syndrome? Seriously?” This is the same man who looked at the photo in my hand and said, “This kid? Are you sure?” This is the same man who freely admitted that he didn’t know one single thing about Down syndrome…..and that it didn’t matter because the kid in that picture needed a family.
Today, in the midst of adoption awareness month and in the season of giving thanks, I look at this photo of father & son and am reminded again of how blessed I am. Because today, this man is the one who will quickly tell you, “Down syndrome is not that big of a deal. At the end of the day, they’re still just kids.” Today, this man will tell you, “We have room at the table and there are kids out there that need families.”
And this week……
He’s building us a bigger table

meeting Clawed

2009-11-16T20:07:00.001-06:00

Tonight, we went to the book fair at the boys’ school. All the schools in our town are the Eagles. So, Clawed, the mascot from the high school came to the book fair to pose for photos with the kids. My camera was not cooperating, so the photos are not focused very well.

Here are a couple of pictures that I found on my camera from the boys’ field trip earlier this month. That’s Xander's 1:1 aide with him and well, I’m sure you all recognize the guy being goofy with Grifyn!

Thanks Mom!

2009-11-15T12:50:00.001-06:00

When I was visiting my mom a few months ago, she showed me the small vacuum cleaner that she uses to clean up “quick messes”. It was small and light weight and worked on carpet or hard wood floors. I made the comment that I needed something like that at our house….something that would work on both my carpet and my hard wood floors that I could keep in a corner and pull it out daily for quick pick ups. So, I was thrilled when my mom came to visit for my birthday and brought me one of the tiny bright green vacuum cleaners!
(ok, she said it was for Robert too, but he wasn’t nearly as excited about it as I was)
Then, Robert put the green machine together and I discovered that this is in fact the best birthday gift ever. Why? Because the handle goes down (it’s designed so that you can store it easy & lightweight enough that you can hang it on a hook) and makes the vacuum cleaner small enough that my girls can vacuum with it!!! I’ve only touched this thing ONCE. My girls have vacuumed various rooms of our house EVERY SINGLE DAY since we got this thing. The playroom and their bed room floors are cleaner that they’ve ever been! The girls are even cleaning the dining room floor and the kitchen floor(since it does hard wood floors too). They are actually ASKING if there are any rooms that need to be vacuumed.
So, BIG THANKS to my mom for the birthday gift!
I’m loving watching my girls use it :)

Pepper spray :(

2009-11-14T10:02:00.001-06:00

My poor husband! Yesterday, he got sprayed in the face with pepper spray. It was a part of training. He had to be sprayed directly in the face/eyes and then be able to maneuver through an obstacle course and then perform 4 different tasks involving chasing down and apprehending a “suspect”. So basically, he had to be able to function, move quickly, use his weapon AND keep his bearings in order to deal with and apprehend “the bad guy”……all while he could barely see and barely breathe thanks to the pepper spray(not to mention the pain from his skin burning). He was able to do it, though there was nothing “fun” about this particular training exercise.
Here’s what Robert looked like AFTER he’d showered to open up the pores in his skin(which makes it hurt worse), and AFTER he’d scrubbed his face and arm(because it ran down his arm too) with dish detergent(to pull it out of his pores). This is over 3 hours AFTER being sprayed in the face…..and his face was still red, his eyes were still burning……and basically, he felt like crap.

The irony in this is that K9 handlers do NOT carry pepper spray. I mean, HELLO, they have dogs trained to chase, locate and attack “bad guys”. Trust me when I say that the dogs are MUCH more effective than pepper spray. But still, because he’s an MP, Robert(and all the other K9 handlers) had to be certified in using and carrying pepper spray along with the rest of the company….. “just in case”.

turkeys

2009-11-12T10:49:00.001-06:00

Here is Grifyn’s turkey.
He’s disguised as Santa with his big bag full of toys.
We chose something that he could help with. He was able to help color and he was able to help glue. So, it’s more HIS project than ours….which is supposed to be the point.

Xander did not want anything to do with his turkey last night! So, daddy worked on Xander’s. Again, something simple. Xander could have helped glue…..but he didn’t want to be anywhere near that darn turkey!

lots going on around here

2009-11-10T19:22:00.002-06:00

Olivia came home with a turkey to disguise today. So, now we need 3 disguises for turkeys. We're going to try to get these done tomorrow. I've had lots of good ideas. If you have an idea, feel free to leave it here.

If you're not following our adoption blog, we got great news today. You can read about it here.

Zoie is being referred to a neurologist at Children's Hospital. She had seizures when she was a baby and an abnormal MRI. We were told that her brain would compensate for the abnormality, but that we should be aware of any changes with her body (muscle weakness, signs of seizures, etc). We've seen some concerning signs that the seizure activity may be resuming. Our doctor said it's best to be pro-active, and find nothing than to do nothing and find something "the hard way"(ie: a full blown seizure). So, we'll be making a trip up to Children's Hospital soon.

Grifyn has been doing better at school with his behavior. We're so proud of the positive changes that we're seeing. He's also becoming more accountable for his behavior. Today, he pointed to his behavior chart and the one sad face and said,
"uh-oh, bad". I asked him what happened and he actually said, "time-out". YES! The notation by the sad face did, in fact, say that he'd been put in time-out during that activity.(his behavior chart is broken down by activity so that he doesn't ruin his whole day with a points system or whatever for one bad choice). We've been working hard on Grifyn being accountable for his behavior and the fact that he could tell me WHY he got a sad face is a step in the right direction.

Xander has discovered watching movies on the computer. Well, he's actually watching video clips of himself and the other kids. He LOVES this. I don't know why, but he will sit here and watch video clips for as long as I will play them. He doesn't pay much attention to the TV. I'm not sure what the difference is with the computer, but he does seem to enjoy the computer. I should probably look up some educational videos on You Tube or something for him to watch.

Alek still needs a family....and Christmas sponsors. If you'd like to partner with us to raise grant money for Alek, please click here to make a tax deductible donation. I have a couple of new photos of Alek and he is just so precious! I'm praying that he finds a family this Christmas season.

Sesame Street is 40 years old. WOW! I LOVED Sesame Street when I was younger. I still love it for my kids today. I had the opportunity to hear Emily Pearl Kingsley speak last year about writing for Sesame Street (she's also the mom to a son with Ds and the author of "Welcome To Holland"). It was so interesting to hear all the thought and preparation that goes into producing Sesame Street. I wish it was on more for my kids. I wish I could buy like all 40 seasons.

We're having friends here visiting on Thanksgiving. We are so excited about their visit! I won't tell you who it is just yet, but I will say that there are going to be LOTS of extra chromosomes in this house that weekend :) I can't wait!

Help our turkeys!

2009-11-09T18:00:00.001-06:00

Grifyn & Xander each have a turkey that currently look like this (we have to cut them out):

The kindergarten school will be learning a poem about turkeys that goes like this:
My name is Tom Turkey and I’m afraid as can be.
I’m wearing my disguise so you won’t catch me!

Here’s our mission:
We have to disguise our turkeys so that they DO NOT look like turkeys. The goal is to make sure that our turkeys don’t become Thanksgiving dinner! This is a project that the entire school is doing (the whole school is kindergarten, remember) and the disguised turkeys will be “hid” all over the school.

So………………………….we need some good disguises.
Some of the examples in the instructions include: Santa, a farmer, a snow man and even a hunter…lol.
This is a family project and the directions do say that they encourage the entire family to participate in disguising our turkey. But, I still want part of the disguise to be something that the boys can do themselves.

Ok, bloggy friends, leave me a comment with your ideas. What should our turkeys be???????

The Blind Side

2009-11-09T13:15:00.003-06:00

"You're changing that boy's life."
"No, he's changing mine."

That's my favorite quote from the trailer of a movie that will be premiering on Nov.20th. No, I'm not talking about THAT movie(though I am anxiously awaiting it's arrival on the 20th too!). I'm talking about the movie, The Blind Side. I am not one that spends money to go to the movie theater. But, it looks like I'm going to be going to the movies twice in one year....heck, twice in one month now!

I hate that this movie is probably going to be overshadowed by the publicity of that other movie. Words can't do the trailer of this movie justice, so just take my word for it and watch it (and don't worry, I'll probably share the one from "that other movie" soon too because I'm weird like that...lol). This movie is based on a true story and since I cried when I watched the trailer, I can only imagine that I'll be crying through the whole movie too!
I hope that people will go and watch this movie. I hope that hearts will be touched by the underlying message in this story......adoption changes lives. It's not about looking at the child, his/her attitude that is projected and his/her back ground and circumstances. It's about looking past all of that and really seeing the need.....the basic need that every child has....to be a part of a family.
If the embedded link doesn't work, click here and watch trailer 2.

5 years

2009-11-06T17:44:00.002-06:00

Today is our 5 anniversary. In some ways, it seems like that time has went by so very fast. In other ways, it seems like it's been so much longer than just 5 years. The Lord has blessed me tremendously in the past 5 years. My husband is truly a gift from Above and I am so honored to call him mine.
Five years ago, I made this promise to him on our wedding day:
(Ruth 1:16-17)
"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

The inscription, "wherever you go...." is also on Robert's wedding band. At the time I married him, I knew that I was also commiting a part of my life to the Army...to sharing my husband with the Army. But, I had no idea that "wherever you go" would also take us to together to the other side of the world to add to our family. I have been so richly blessed!
This is the tribute that I made for Robert today to chronical our first 5 years.......

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Embracing life as Household 6

Saying Good-bye

Retired

Grifyn's cleft

because I can :)

Xander GI update

Caught red handed

Update: Kullen

Update: Grifyn

Heavy Heart

Update: The kiddos with "just" 46 ;)

Xander: An update

Why I love my husband(one of the many reasons)

Grifyn & the dog

You dressed him in WHAT???!!!!

What if your Mother's Day wish was.....

*whew* What day is it????

fun in the sun!

Girl's Day Out!

Xander: GI results & crying

doctors visits x4

Back and blogging again!

Leaving on a jet plane!

My Fab Five!

Cross post: Good Friday-The adoption story

Chucky Cheese

Poor neglected blog!

Happy Friday!

The tunnel

Recycle!

cimbing the wall

At the park

Blessed x3!!!!

My Mechanic

just in case....

walking

In honor of Wold Down Syndrome Day

Bubble bath and nap time

the letter

He didn't listen

LOVE these...Adoption Bug!

"the look"...and the reality of it's blessing

lots going on around here

teeth

Substitute parent?

Chrissie

lesson learned

for Zhora

Sensory Diet

Snow ball fight 2010

Strep throat :(

In the snow

SNOW!

Jasper

Connecting The Rainbow

What day is it????? (lots of updates to catch up!)

Foster Care Training: Book Two

little bit of this and that

"one quick picture"

the egg & the lie

Yellow!

If it didn't have to be

Just because he's so darn cute ;)

A new road to travel

LOVE

Can I hide under the covers, please?

Daddy/Xander photo shoot

What I learned during Christmas vacation

Xander's new communication skills

My week

Happy Birthday Zhora!

Hand prints

pictures to make up for slacking!

What a blessing!

enjoying the quiet

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

3 years

random tidbits for the week

Cookies in a jar for Christmas

VERY disapointed in Disney

whew What day is it????